THE CRITICAL GRADE

This week has not been a kind one when it comes to doling out time to write, but I promise there is some actual content on the way before Friday. Until then, this from the brand-new issue of The Onion:

Entertainment Weekly Critic Lets Director Redo Sorority Row For Better Grade

HOLLYWOOD, CA— Critic Kate Ward told reporters Monday that she has given director Stewart Hendler a chance to reshoot his horror-thriller Sorority Row and improve upon the “D” grade he received in her recent Entertainment Weekly review of the film. "Stewart came to my office to talk about his grade, and we discussed where he went wrong with his production," said Ward, who is often described by filmmakers as a "tough-but-fair" reviewer. "He seems to understand the problems with his use of gratuitous nudity and has promised to fix some of the larger plot holes. If he applies himself and gets Carrie Fisher to sign on again in a bigger role, he could very well get a 'C' when I average the two grades." Hendler said he will use more crosscuts in his second attempt at Sorority Row, a technique he claims helped "ass-kisser" Steven Soderbergh earn a “B” for The Informant.

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