SOMEWHERE WILLIAM CASTLE IS SMILING...

Intelligent Vibrations!

Fast and Furious, part four in the high-octane Vin Diesel-Paul Walker action series, is so stripped down and ready for balls-out action that it doesn’t even have time for pesky definite articles. Dump those The's, dude! They’re only holding you down! And the reviews I’ve read, which have made me want to see the movie despite my more sophisticated instincts (Have you read my assessment of Convoy, sir and/or madam?), have suggested that there may be more sheer velocity and smash-bang cutting in this new installment than in the previous three features combined. But did you know about this? Looks like in some theaters, including the Grauman’s Chinese in Hollywood, Fast and Furious is ready to get all Tingler on your ass, and then some. D-Box Technologies is unveiling motion-activated seats installed in some high-profile theaters this weekend for showings of Fast and Furious that are designed to make the movie come alive in a very special way. According to Brian Yalung at the Behind the Brand blog:

“The seats are equipped with the company’s Motion technology and powered by D-Box Motion Effects that corresponds to the action taking place onscreen, causing the seats to tilt and shake in perfect synchronization with the onscreen action.
Audience members will feel all the shifts and rumbles of an opening hijacking sequence, however the seats will remain still during the quieter, dialogue-driven scenes. The seats are in motion for about a third of the film, including intelligent vibrations that move along to the soundtrack and stronger movements for the action scenes.”


I like that term “intelligent vibrations,” not at all like, one might assume, the ones generated by Mr. Diesel and Mr. Walker’s vocal cords. So get it straight, kids, this is NOT going to be like sitting on your mom’s washing machine during the spin cycle and watching The Cannonball Run, though I suppose it’s entirely possible that a significant portion of the audience may augment the intelligent vibrations with some involuntary vibrating of their own during quieter scenes involving the sexual dynamics of cast-mates Walker and/or Jordana Brewster and/or Michelle Rodriguez. (Will anyone vibrate at the sight of Vin Diesel?) However it ends up, D-Box sure sounds a lot more fun than installing seat belts in standard theater seats as they did in some urban areas which showed The Gumball Rally back in 1976. (Just how was being strapped into an already uncomfortable seat and having your movement restricted, disallowing any possibility of being able to bolt from your seat and run from the auditorium when the camera got too close to Michael Sarrazin, supposed to make this unpretentious chase comedy more fun or exciting? I ask because I am curious.) Neither Universal Pictures nor D-Box Technologies are openly advising viewers to bring a change of underwear, just in case, but doesn’t that sound like a good idea?

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