FOUND! THE LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM! *

Dateline: London. According to a report filed at ContactMusic.com:

“Veteran filmmaker Ken Russell flashed his genitalia at disgraced former Miss Great Britain Danielle Lloyd within hours of entering the British reality TV show Celebrity Big Brother last night (January 3). The 79-year-old Oscar nominee and three-time BAFTA winner was a surprise competitor in this year's show, which also features Jermaine Jackson and Dirk Benedict. Shortly after entering the Big Brother house, Tommy director Russell was changing into his pajamas when Lloyd-- stripped of her Miss Great Britain title after posing naked for Playboy and dating a beauty contest judge-- walked in on him. She told fellow contestants, "Ken just got changed. I was facing the room and he took his underpants off and bent over. Meat and two veg between his legs and I've seen it! It's gonna give me nightmares for rest of my life, I can't even look at him now."

Russell, whose “meat” is reportedly nowhere nearly so grandiose as that which he once designed for Roger Daltrey, is in preproduction on a new film version of Moll Flanders. His last movie to see release in America was Whore, starring Theresa Russell, Antonio Fargas and Jack Nance. (No word of his “veg,” other than their nightmare-producing properties.)

Danielle Lloyd is a fully qualified “beauty therapist” and masseuse, has worked with “the very famous Jimmy Choo, who is now a friend” and would “love to be the ‘love interest’ in the pop video of one of the top acts on the charts now.”

* Endless thanks to That Little Round-Headed Boy for coming up with a MUCH better title for this post than the one it started out with!