MY 1998 TOUR OF THE ACKERMANSION

'Tis the season, as they say... for merciless stomach flu, that is. The Cozzalio household has been under siege by the meanest bug to land in these here parts in a good long while, and no one has been spared, not even the carpets (if you know what I mean). Both daughters got sick separately, on either side of Thanksgiving Day, and have been recuperating in relative silence ever since. Their mother and I were both slammed in the middle of Saturday night—the Mrs. is still reeling at home and trying to work, while I have made my way out into the brave world and am attempting to be a constructive breadwinner from the office today. (The looks from those around who don’t seem to be convinced that I’m entirely well are pretty rich, but not as rich as the ones I got in CostCo Saturday night after being vomited on while waiting in line at the register. The oh-so-accommodating and understanding dupes in Borat had nothing on these warehouse shoppers as they attempted to avert their eyes or pretend they didn’t notice as my daughter and I, covered in purplish, chunky goo, marched stiffly to the restroom.)

All of which is to say that this week may not turn out exactly how I once envisioned it—not a major deal, usually, but there are two blog-a-thons happening that I definitely want to participate in, both of which may not be able to receive my full attention as a result. Tim Lucas’s tribute to Joe Dante is one I don’t want to miss, but it’s looking like my contribution will be much shorter (and a little later in this evening) than I’d like. And Andy Horbal has a major Film Criticism Blog-a-Thon brewing for the weekend—with a little help from Matt Zoller Seitz I may be able to get a few words in on this one, but again, with the flu last week and a major furniture rearrangement on tap for this weekend (new bunk beds) I’m not sure just how deep it’s gonna go. Fortunately, Andy’s “thon” runs all weekend, so I refuse to give up hope.

But now let’s catch up where we can, shall we? As promised, here (after a wrestling match with technology that I’m still not sure I’ve won) is my 1998 visit to the haunted hills of Horrorwood, Karloffornia, a long-delayed pilgrimage to the Ackermansion, the world-famous home of Forrest J. Ackerman—part two of my contribution to Flickhead’s Forrest J. Ackerman Blog-a-thon! Again, thanks to Flickhead for the wonderful blog-a-thon idea. And I apologize if the audio is not the clearest on these videos—they were never meant to be seen by anyone but me, my wife and my best friend. So please forgive the complete and utter lack of production value, continuity, logic and/or focus on subject matter and enjoy, if at all possible, this tour through the tattered, messy splendors of Forrest J. Ackerman’s Ackermuseum.

ACT ONE: THE PLEDGE



ACT TWO: THE TURN



ACT THREE: THE PRESTIGE