Friday, December 16, 2005

PROFESSOR BRAINERD'S CHRISTMAS VACATION QUIZ


Well, enthusiastic students here at SLIFR U, Christmas is just around the corner, and most of you will be taking some precious time off to spend with your family, loved ones or fellow inmates. But what would taking a break from your worries and your strife (my apologies to Baloo the Bear) be without something intrusive and insistent to gnaw at the back of your mind while you try to enjoy a simple cup of wassail or a gristly wing off that Christmas goose?

Something like, say, homework…?

With that, it is my pleasure to introduce the newest member of the faculty here at our esteemed institution of learning, fresh from a long, spirited, and sometimes controversial tenure at Medfield College. Professor Ned Brainerd has taken a sabbatical from his experiments in the kinetic properties of rubber-based substances to kindly offer up 25 questions to take along with us to ensure a happy holiday. The professor felt the number of questions was appropriate for the Christmas season (December 25, see?)—he would have gone for nine in honor of Hanukkah (number of candles on a menorah), but correctly figured that that wouldn’t make for enough of an annoying brain teaser, and he had to admit ignorance as to whether there is any number significantly related to Kwanzaa.

So, if your fingerprints have not already been sufficiently worn down by a 2005 filled with typing at work and blogging comments at home (or vice versa), then by all means pull up a too-small wooden desk, massage your head in order to dislodge the most insignificant bits of knowledge and memory, and welcome to Professor Brainerd’s Christmas Vacation Quiz.

Say the magic word—“Flubber!”—and begin…

1) Describe the moment when you knew you loved the movies

2) What prop or costume from a film do you most covet? *

3) Take a famous role and recast it (for example, Audrey Hepburn instead of Andie McDowell in Four Weddings and a Funeral) *

4) Charlton Heston or George Kennedy?

5) Best performance in an otherwise terrible movie

6) Worst performance in a famously revered or otherwise great movie

7) Christopher Lee or Peter Cushing?

8) Favorite Walter Hill movie

9) Favorite musical score from a movie

10) Describe the most scared you’ve ever been in a theater, or the scariest moment you recall seeing in a movie

11) Ingrid Pitt or Barbara Steele?

12) Favorite Holiday Movie (doesn’t have to be Christmas oriented)

13) Worst Holiday movie (doesn’t have to be Christmas oriented)

14) Your all-time favorite hammy actor

15) Favorite Federico Fellini movie

16) Your favorite film critic

17) Jason Lee or Jason Mewes?

18) Best use of a natural location setting in a movie

19) Worst squandering of a natural location setting in a movie

20) Favorite song from a movie

21) Madeline Kahn or Teri Garr?

22) Favorite Roger Corman Movie

23) Your biggest movie-star crush

24) Director you’ve always felt deserved more attention than he/she ever got or has gotten up to this point, and a highlight for you from his/her career

25) Michelle Yeoh or Ziyi Zhang?

26) If the movies’ were to give you a Christmas gift, or a gift for 2006, what would it be? (I mean “the movies” in the most general sense—the film industry, the actors, a director making a certain film, whatever)

* Thanks for the suggestions, Jen!

Okay, so that's 26. But what's the holiday season without a surprise stocking stuffer? Happy holidays, everyone!

33 comments:

Brian Darr said...

I'm so not ready for this. I thought it was supposed to come during the vacation part of Christmas? When's it due, anyway?

Dennis Cozzalio said...

Ah, the vicarious thrill of being a exacting and insensitive taskmaster! But seriously, Brian, Brian, Brian! No need to rush! Believe me, Roscoe, God bless him, is the exception, rather than the rule. I was gathering new submissions for the last one almost two months after I first published it. Though I don't anticipate taking as long to compile everything this time around (there are just over half as many questions on this one as the last too), there is definitely no due date. I just posted it early-ish before Christmas vacation because I really began to suspect that I was going to run out of time before my own Christmas vacation, which commences on the 22nd. I hope you have time to sit down some evening in the near future and put together some fun answers and that you'll want to do so. And if you do, feel free to take your time and have fun-- I decided not to post grades this time around... (kidding!)

(Oh, and congratulations on the new assignment with Cinemarati! I look forward to reading your contributions! And I just put The White Diamond near the head of my Netflix queue-- I can't wait to see it!)

Anonymous said...

1. Somewhere between when I first saw Dr. Strangelove and A Hard Day's Night, Fall 1964.

2. A Toho flying monster, preferably Rodan.

3. Back in the early 70s I thought of remaking Rio Bravo with James Earl Jones, Richard Pryor, Diana Ross and Michael Jackson.

4. As the saying goes: "Charlton Heston is an axiom of cinema."

5. Just because I remember it, Owen Wilson in Zoolander.

6. Henry Fonda in Vidor's War and Peace.

7. Lee

8. Streets of Fire (you asked for favorite, not best)

9. Thomas Newman - Meet Joe Black, also
David Amran - The Manchurian Candidate (1962).

10. The first time I saw Repulsion.

11. Steele!

12. George Cukor's Holiday.

13. Eight Crazy Nights

14. Orson Welles

15. 8 and a Half

16. Lisa Schwarzbaum of Entertainment Weekly.

17. Jason Voorhees

18. John Ford in Monument Valley

19. Ishtar

20. "Beautiful Stranger" by Madonna for Austin Powers: The Spy who Shagged Me.

21. Madeline Kahn

22. The Trip

23. Sandra Majani. She was only in one film but God is she HOT!

24. The French director Cedric Klapisch should be better appreciated. I saw one of his films on DVD that did not get released in the U.S., a heist film titled Ni Pour, Ni Contre. Dark heist comedy where the young woman who accidentally becomes involved with a criminal gang escapes with the loot.

25. Maggie Cheung

26. Regional coding on DVDs would be a thing of the past.

Lester said...

1) Describe the moment when you knew you loved the movies.

I was in first grade and my folks let me go to Walt Disney’s “Sword in the Stone” with a friend from school. I been hooked on movies every since. Plus, it did not hurt that my favorite cousin was the biggest movie buff in town.

2) What prop or costume from a film do you most covet? *

This is actually from a TV series that used to watch as a kid, “Combat” I always liked that helmet ammo belt and tommy gun that Sgt Chip Saunders aka Vic Morrow used to wear.

3) Take a famous role and recast it (for example, Audrey Hepburn instead of Andie McDowell in Four Weddings and a Funeral) *

I have always wondered what Clint Eastwood could have done with US Marshall Rooster Cogburn in “True Grit” and “Rooster Cogburn”. Its hard to imagine this role being done better than what John Wayne does, but I think Clint Eastwood could have made it very interesting.

4) Charlton Heston or George Kennedy?

Oh man, I love both actors. Charlton Heston has the edge with me because his movies have made a bigger impact on me (Moses, Ben Hur, Planet of Apes,) and a whole host of westerns including “The Big Country”. He also has a one of kind voice that makes him easy to listen to whenever he narrates a film. George always seemed to play second fiddle to other major actors, but he always made that movie better if he was in it.

5) Best performance in an otherwise terrible movie.

Tom Hanks in “Forest Gump”

6) Worst performance in a famously revered or otherwise great movie.

A lot of people seem to think that “Pulp Fiction”is a great movie. It may well have been a good movie if it were not for John Travolta’s sleep walking through whole thing.

7) Christopher Lee or Peter Cushing?

These guys are masters of the dark, scary movies that I tend to shy away from. I am more familiar with Chistopher Lee as I have seen more of his movies. He is more reconizable to me and has the edge in this question.

8) Favorite Walter Hill movie

Walter Hill has made several movies that I really like, “The Warriors”, “Geronimo”, “Last Man Standing”, “Southern Comfort”, “Extreme Prejudice”, “Brewsters Millions”, “48 Hours”. I would have to say that “The Warriors stand out as being my favorite of these movies.

9) Favorite musical score from a movie

What is the differnce between a musical score and song?

10) Describe the most scared you’ve ever been in a theater, or the scariest moment you recall seeing in a movie

I was 19 or so and had just moved to a new town (Klamath Falls) where we lived in a tiny apartment complex behind the old Tower Theater. My wife had not yet made the move so I was all by myself. I went to watch “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” which just scared the living daylights out of me. I can remember being especially aware of my surroundings after watching that movie and I remember hurrying back to the apartment and locking, double locking, or maybe even triple locking if there is such a thing all the doors and windows of the apartment. It took several hours for me to calm down enough to get some sleep. Since this movie have have not watched but a handfull of horror films.

11) Ingrid Pitt or Barbara Steele?

I do not recognize either of these gals. They must be mistress’s of the dark, scary movies that I have avoided since the “Chainsaw Massacre”

12) Favorite Holiday Movie (doesn’t have to be Christmas oriented)

My favorite holiday movie is “A Christmas Carol” with James Stewart. I watch it every year and seem to never get tired of it.

13) Worst Holiday movie (doesn’t have to be Christmas oriented)

The new remake of “A Christmas Carol” with Kelsy Grammer was one of the most disappointing holiday movies I have ever seen.

14) Your all-time favorite hammy actor

It would have to be Hugh Grant

15) Favorite Federico Fellini movie

I do not believe I have seen a Federico Fellini movie, in fact I have never heard of him until now.

16) Your favorite film critic

I seldom read reviews of film. The most reviews or critiques of film I have read have been those submitted by Dennis Cozzalio. I do not know if you could call him my favorite film critic as we do not always see eye to eye on films we have commonly watched. I can say that he is my favorite cousin, more like a brother though, and that I do enjoy going to a movie, any movie with him. It is worth the price of admission just to sit through a movie with him.

17) Jason Lee or Jason Mewes?

I have seen or recognize more movies of Jason Lee than Jason Mewes so he has the edge in this question.

18) Best use of a natural location setting in a movie

It seems that I am partial to films made in Oregon. I guess you could say that the films made in Oregon are the ones that I pay the most attention to the settings. One of the best natural location settings has to be the western “Bend of the River” filmed in Oregon, which I just recently watched. Others include “The Way West” also filmed in Oregon, in fact I lived very near where some of the filming took place and watched some of the scenes being filmed.

19) Worst squandering of a natural location setting in a movie

Being just a common everyday movie viewer, I do not break down movies I watch in terms or details of who acted, who made it, where it was set, etc, I do not have a good answer for this question.

20) Favorite song from a movie

One of my favorite all time songs from a movie is “Circle of Life” from the “Lion King” the other is “Phantom of the Opera”. I don’t know why but these are the songs that I always seem to immediately recognize whenever I hear them.

21) Madeline Kahn or Teri Garr?

Google Time – Madeline Kahn is in more movies that I recognize so I guess she gets the edge on this question.

22) Favorite Roger Corman Movie

None of his dark scary movies suit me. Yes, I had to Google to find out who in the heck Roger Corman was.

23) Your biggest movie-star crush

Growing up as a kid it is easy to say that you had a crush on Rachel Welch or Sophia Loren those super sexy ladies of the 60’s and 70’s. But it is Linda Purl of “Young Pioneers” was the real first crush that I can remember. Then Valerie Bertinelli in anything that she plays in.

24) Director you’ve always felt deserved more attention than he/she ever got or has gotten up to this point, and a highlight for you from his/her career

I am just a common movie viewer who watches a lot of movies for the pure entertainment and enjoyment of watching it. I typically do not associate who directed, produced, or otherwise made a particular movie. I simply don’t keep track of the who made the movie.

25) Michelle Yeoh or Ziyi Zhang?

I don’t recognize either actress. I googled them and found out that they are both playing in “Memoirs of a Geshia” a movie that I have in Netflix queue. I will be sure to watch for these two actress’s when I watch this movie.

26) If the movies’ were to give you a Christmas gift, or a gift for 2006, what would it be? (I mean “the movies” in the most general sense—the film industry, the actors, a director making a certain film, whatever)

The best thing the movie industry could give me for Christmas, is their continued efforts in making closed captions and subtitles available on as many movies as possible. (Fantasy Gift)Wouldn’t be wonderful if the movie industry could make closed captions available for all movies at the theaters. There is open captions available now on a select few movies, and they are seldom shown in my area. Besides most movie watchers who are not hearing impaired prefer no captions. But with todays technology it seems that there should be a way to encode captions to a movie that would be invisable to the naked eye, but could be seen by wearing special glasses much like the 3D movies. That way only the people that want to watch the movie with captions could.

Uncle Gustav said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

1) When that giant f-ing "S" blasts in at the same moment the music hits a crescendo at the beginning of Superman. That still blows me away.

2) The NEW Batmobile. (The ones that actually drove AND jumped supposedly cost $400,000 apiece.)

3) Brian Cox as Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs.

4) Let's see: Dennis Kucinich or David Duke? Hmmm...

5) Ken Norton in Mandingo, which just goes to show you how bad EVERYONE in that movie was.

6) Mickey Rooney as the bucktoothed, coke-bottle-spectacled, camera-lovin', speech-impaired "Jap" in the beloved Breakfast at Tiffany's. God, that character and performance make my skin crawl-- but then, that whole movie makes my skin crawl.

7) Lee.

8) WARRIORS, COME OUT TO PLAYY-AYY!

9) The Sound of Music. I make no apologies. It's F-ing great.

10) The blood-in-the-Petri-dish scene in The Thing. I've seen that movie half a dozen times, and that scene never fails to make me crazy with fear and tension. I almost can't take it.

11) Who dey?

12) A Christmas Story.

13) As others here have noted, there have been so many, it would be unfair to choose just one.

14) Bill Shatner. It's amazing what you can get away with ham-wise when you have a sense of humor.

15) 8.5.

16) Dennis Cozzalio, although I don't agree with him a lot of the time. His fawning appreciation of JM J. Bullock is just too far out for me. (Was I supposed to tell anyone, Dennis?)

17) Again, the Lee dude.

18) Preston, Idaho, in Napoleon Dynamite. Folks, I've been there, and I'm telling you, that movie was a freaking DOCUMENTARY. Stay far, far away.

19) That's a hard one. I don't know. Well, that's only four points off.

20) "All Over the World" from Xanadu.

21) KAAAAAAAAAHHHHNNNNNN!

22) X--The Man with X-Ray Eyes. (I think that was Corman. Anyway, it was great.)

23) Raquel Welch, and I was in the first grade at the time, so that shows she made a real impact back in the day.

24) Michael Mann. Manhunter is a far better movie than all that other Anthony Hopkins Lecter piffle, and it effectively bridged the gap between Miami Vice and CSI.

25) YEOH!

26) A two-hour version of the new King Kong. Terrific effects, truly emotional story, and an exciting tale with a fine cast of actors. But Great Gracious Lord, I could have cut at least 45 minutes out of that thing blindfolded. It's a good thing I got a new Timex INDIGLO(r) for Christmas (which I opened early; don't tell my mother-in-law), because I found myself checking it several times during the film.

Thanks! That was fun!

Anonymous said...

For those who don't know Barbara Steele or Ingrid Pitt, I recommend one film from each. Steele became the early 60s queen of horror in Mario Bava's Black Sunday. Ingrid Pitt was in some Hammer films in the early 70s. Countess Dracula has the most exposed breasts you'll see in a PG film!

Dennis Cozzalio said...

And if you're lucky enough (like me) to own a copy of the MGM Midnite Movies DVD double feature, you can flip the disc on Countess Dracula and see her delicious turn in The Vampire Lovers. Any guesses as to how my pick is likely to go? :)

Anonymous said...

Re: Roscoe's comments on King Long (Oops, Freudian slip; I meant King Kong).

Roscoe, I absolutely agree with you about the character development in this movie. It was just terrific. And I would cut very little, if any, of the Kong-Darrow scenes. They were beautiful.

I'm talking about those action scenes that went on for-F-ing-ever, to the point where I actually felt I was experiencing every single one of the plagues of Job, and in real-time (40 some years, if you read your Bible). Just because an action sequence is fresh and exciting for three minutes does NOT make it exciting for six or ten. Just ask anyone who's ever watched a porn movie.

I think this version would have better served as "The Extended Version" of King Kong, primarily for people who are true-believer fans. But as for myself (and my wife and coworker, who love movies no less than you do), this movie needed a serious choppin' to make it go from really good to an absolute classic.

That is of course, my own opinion.

Aaron W. Graham said...

1. It’s a tough call, but the earliest memory of my love for the movies seems to have been after seeing “Family Plot” and trying to find out all about this Hitchcock fellow.

2. Peter Fonda’s dark glasses from “The Wild Angels”

3. Hugh Grant in the Henry Fonda role and Andie MacDowall in the Barbara Stanwyck role in a horrible remake of Preston Sturges’ “The Lady Eve”

4. I’m probably in the minority, but Charlton Heston, especially for his late 60s/early 70s Sci-Fi pictures

5. I’ll pick the most recent: Austin Pendleton in an all too brief role in the otherwise abysmal “Christmas with the Kranks”

6. See most of the Academy Award Winners of the past few years

7. Peter Cushing, I’m fond of his Hammer series as both Van Helsing and Baron Frankenstein

8. Tough call, as he’s one of my favorite filmmakers, but I’ll go with “Southern Comfort”

9. Riz Ortolani’s score for “Cannibal Apocalypse”

10. I was exposed to a great deal of horror films early on in life, so there are quite a few to choose from. I’d seen the original “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” when I was but a wee one and it scared the daylights out of me.

11. Barbara Steele – those eyes!

12. “It’s a Wonderful Life”

13. Any Christmas TV movie of the last few years

14. David Patrick Kelly

15. “I Vitelloni”

16. I’ll go with Andrew Sarris, but not especially the Sarris of today

17. Jason Lee

18. Don Siegel’s “The Line-up”, or any of his films set in San Francisco

19. I’ll go with “The Last Samurai”, as Roscoe previously came up with, in lieu of skipping this question altogether

20. “He Needs Me” (Julie Andrews) from “10”

21. Madeline Kahn, although I like Teri Garr a tremendous amount

22. Ooh, tough one. Today I’ll go with “X: the Man with X-Ray Eyes”

23. Isabelle Huppert

24. John Landis, especially his film “Into the Night”, which I’m really quite fond of.

25. Michelle Yeoh

26. A new film from Monte Hellman, which seems like it’ll happen, with the release of the anthology work “Trapped Ashes” (co-directed by Tobe Hooper and Joe Dante!)

Beege said...

Yay! Quiz time! But before I do any of that: thanks for your lovely message over on PreacherBeege. I hope you have an amazing time at the beach, that you and your sweetie get some time alone (hem, hem) and that you're able to come back refeshed. Merry Christmas!!! Oh! And congratulations on making it to The Show. ;)


1) Describe the moment when you knew you loved the movies. Wow. I'm not really sure. Probably my first ever movie in a theatre, which was "Jungle Book". My dad took me when I was quite small...I ate all the candy he smuggled in well before the opening credits started. I can remember being impressed by the sight of the screen and the HUGE curtain, the smell of the popcorn, the way the seats flipped up...all of it.

2) What prop or costume from a film do you most covet? A Legolas costume from LOTR...as long as Orlando Bloom is still inside it. ;)

3) Take a famous role and recast it (for example, Audrey Hepburn instead of Andie McDowell in Four Weddings and a Funeral)This is hard to answer, because I think Hollywood is doing a lot of this already--hey,if it was good once, let's make it again!--but I think Ralph Fiennes as Hanibal Lector could be chilling. But that's a tough call because Anthony Hopkins SO owned that role.

4) Charlton Heston or George Kennedy? I don't know either of them well...to me, Chuck is primarily a gun-toting Moses. But George Kennedy looks like a nice guy. I'll pick him.

5) Best performance in an otherwise terrible movie: This is so subjective (which is totally why you asked it, isn't it, D?). I think I'm going to go with Paul Newman in "Message in a Bottle." Not that I found the movie that terrible, but I *think* it was adapted from a Nicholas Sparks' novel, and I just don't like him on principle.

6) Worst performance in a famously revered or otherwise great movie. OK. I'm going to say it. Vivian Leigh as Scarlett in 'Gone with the Wind.' I thought she was so much better in 'Streetcar'.

7) Christopher Lee or Peter Cushing? Ooo. Tough call. But time for a confession: I had NO idea who these guys were. I had to ask my geek husband, and he clued me in. Tarkin or Dooku...Tarkin or Dooku...gotta go with Tarkin. The name 'Dooku' sounds too much like 'Doofus'. Plus, well: Tarkin was just pretty damn cool for a bad guy.

8) Favorite Walter Hill movie. Who doesn't love Walter Hill?!?!?! I have no idea who he is. But when I looked him up on IMDb, my geek husband had a hard time naming a favorite. I think, though, in the end, he went with "The Prophecy". Since biblically we are One Flesh, I guess that's my default answer, too.

9) Favorite musical score from a movie. OK. In all seriousness, this IS a tough one. I love so many of them. I think the score from "Last of the Mohicans" has been on the list since I was about 17. That was composed by Trevor Jones and Randy Edelman. I also really like the score to "Legends of the Fall" but that's PARTLY because they used the "Mohicans" score in the movie trailer. I decided that I wanted to see "Legends" based solely on the music in the trailer. It honestly had nothing to do with Brad Pitt.

10) Describe the most scared you’ve ever been in a theater, or the scariest moment you recall seeing in a movie. The most scared I've ever been in a theater: When I was on a date with a young man and he kept putting popcorn in my ears and calling me "mom". *shiver*

11) Ingrid Pitt or Barbara Steele? Remington Steele.

12) Favorite Holiday Movie (doesn’t have to be Christmas oriented)National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

13) Worst Holiday movie (doesn’t have to be Christmas oriented)OK, OK, I know that it's practically a national treasure, but I just don't get "A Christmas Story". Everybody talks about how funny it is, and the leg lamp and "Fraaaah-gee-lay" and getting your tongue stuck to a fencepost, blah blah blah. I just don't get it. I don't think it's that funny.

14) Your all-time favorite hammy actor. I think it's going to be Steve Martin. He does great physical comedy, but he also has a depth to him that only enriches his comedic tendencies. I love him in "Parenthood", which I think gives a good indication of his range.

15) Favorite Federico Fellini movie Gonna take a pass on this. It sounds like a pasta dish to me.

16) Your favorite film critic. Dennis. ;) Actually...that's not so much of a joke.

17) Jason Lee or Jason Mewes? Insofar as Mewes pretty much plays Jason Mewes in every single film he's ever been in, I'm going with Jason Lee. Plus, I thought he was sort of hot, pre-Earl pimp 'stache.

18) Best use of a natural location setting in a movie. Hard to beat Cannon Beach's gigantic rock in "Goonies".

19) Worst squandering of a natural location setting in a movie. I can't think of one that stands out. I'll read others' answers with interest.

20) Favorite song from a movie. "I'll Cover You" from RENT.

21) Madeline Kahn or Teri Garr? Oh, no question: Madeline Kahn. She makes me so happy.

22) Favorite Roger Corman Movie. Too bad M has gone to bed. I bet he'd have one.

23) Your biggest movie-star crush. Right this very second, it's probably Zach Braff. There's just something about those Jewish men...

24) Director you’ve always felt deserved more attention than he/she ever got or has gotten up to this point, and a highlight for you from his/her career. I'll tell you what, Dennis. YOU tell ME what theologian you've always felt deserved more attention than he/she ever got or has gotten up to this point, and a highlight for you from his/her career, and then I'LL come up with an answer for this question. ;) I mean, come on: are directors REALLY so important? ;)

25) Michelle Yeoh or Ziyi Zhang? Michelle Yeoh. She is so amazingly beautiful, and looks so REAL.

26) If the movies’ were to give you a Christmas gift, or a gift for 2006, what would it be? (I mean “the movies” in the most general sense—the film industry, the actors, a director making a certain film, whatever) Better films and a free babysitter so I can actually go out and SEE them.

Dennis Cozzalio said...

Wow! It's not even Christmas break yet, and already so many responses! Extra credit for all! I'll have my own list after I've been able to study the lists that have come in so far,artfully crib the best answers and try to refashion them as my own.

But I can't resist just one comment: Nilblogette-- #2, #9! Thanks so much for chiming in! And I'd love to read/see that Barbara Steele interview.

Okay, Beege, I'm no seminary student, and on these matters I will defer to your expertise, but as theologians go, I’ve always been interested in Karl Barth. He tended to reject the German Protestant liberal tilt from which he sprang, but all the same Christian conservatives don't much like him because, while his theology retains most or all of the tenets of Christianity, he is perceived as rejecting the belief which is a linchpin of fundamentalist theology: biblical inerrancy. Barth suggested that using biblical inerrancy as a theological foundation was to believe on something other than Christ. He valued the relationship with Christ over the accounting of his history and teachings. One of his famous quotes is: "Jesus does not give recipes that show the way to God, as other teachers of religion do. He is himself the way." Barth was also responsible for writings that rejected the influence of Nazism on German Christianity. He thought that allegiance to Christ should give Christians the impetus and resources to resist the influence of other 'lords' - such as Adolf Hitler.

But Barth could pierce the balloon of overreaching theologizing as well. Someone once asked him if he could summarize one of his lengthy dogmatic writings, and his response was, "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so."

I also like the Louvin Brothers.
http://tinyurl.com/a8hj7
http://tinyurl.com/bj9tp

Anonymous said...

1) Describe the moment when you knew you loved the movies

I think the drive-in did it for me: I'm sure I've told this one before, but we lived in a farm (we weren't farmers, but we did have chickens; our house was rented from the farmers so my dad could paint and write, and it was a ramshackle place with mice and lots of creepy, creaky corners), and before my youngest sister and brother were born, Dad took us all in the Plymouth station wagon to the drive-in to see "Day of the Triffids" and whatever co-feature I slept through. We had the back seat folded down, with sleeping bags and pillows, we were all in our pajamas, the night was warm, we played on the playground under the screen until the movie came on (or more likely the previews, or cartoon, or whatever), then ran back to the car. The screen was enormous (well hey, I was four, but I'll bet it was), and the Triffids were terrifying (again, I was four), and the color, the music, the excitement of the story onscreen and of the experience. I could pick any of several other moments when I realized movies were my favorite thing, many of them indoors, but this is the earliest memory I have of realizing that there was nothing more fun or exciting than watching a movie.

2) What prop or costume from a film do you most covet? *

I don't really long for any prop or costume, but I'd be more than thrilled to have, for example, the little piano Dooley Wilson played in "Casablanca," which you and I saw at the Warner Bros museum on the tour in '99. Just looking at it made me imagine being there while they were shooting it and being among those people, in that time. I guess it might be cool to have the Pazuzu statue that Father Merrin faced off with in Iraq in "The Exorcist"--I could put it out in the back yard. haha--Pattie would insist on planting jasmine to grow all over it--in the unlikely event she even allowed it in the house.

3) Take a famous role and recast it (for example, Audrey Hepburn instead of Andie McDowell in Four Weddings and a Funeral) *

James Dean as Luke Skywalker in
"Star Wars."

4) Charlton Heston or George Kennedy?
Charlton Heston...man, I love that guy, no matter my political/social disagreement with him--especially in "The Omega Man," "Planet of the Apes" and "Soylent Green." I'm telling you, I used to daydream of getting to meet him, when I was a kid. Finally I did go see him for a free noontime lecture at UCLA, and he was wonderfully affable and entertaining--and of course he delivered some bombastic Shakespearean speech, Prospero from "The Tempest". Never half-assed, that guy.

5) Best performance in an otherwise terrible movie
Faye Dunaway in "Mommie Dearest."
Runner-up: Uta Hagen in "The Boys from Brazil."

6) Worst performance in a famously revered or otherwise great movie
I'm sorry this isn't original, but I've got to agree with Snake Plissken: the horrible, cheap performance of Mickey Rooney in "Breakfast at Tiffany's". We first saw the movie several years ago, and were both speechless at this.


7) Christopher Lee or Peter Cushing?
OH man, that's not fair. I love 'em both as if they were my--well, not brothers, maybe grandpappies. But, seeing as how Chris Lee has shown himself to have an ego bigger than the United Kingdom, and remembering the touching and understated performance of Peter Cushing in the original "Tales from the Crypt", and considering Cushing is dead, I'll give it to Pete.

8) Favorite Walter Hill movie
I guess I'd say "Southern Comfort," though to be honest I'm not too big a fan.

9) Favorite musical score from a movie
Max Steiner's for "Gone With the Wind," though I could easily pick one of his many others, like "King Kong." But I love "GWTW," even though I know it's not a very cool answer, and its musical themes run through my head for no good reason at odd moments.

10) Describe the most scared you’ve ever been in a theater, or the scariest moment you recall seeing in a movie
I went to see "Carrie" at the Bagdad Theatre in Portland upon its release in 1976 (it was October, as I recall) with some of my buddies, and it was one of the most intensely emotional movies I had seen (funny as that sounds!)--but when her arm popped up out of the grave/pile of charcoal briquets at the end and grabbed hold of Amy Irving, I'm sure I was literally scared out of my seat, and I'm pretty sure I--well, not screamed, but let's say I let out a yell of terror. At least I was hardly the only one who reacted that way in the theater, nor was I alone among my friends in losing all semblance of composure.

11) Ingrid Pitt or Barbara Steele?
I have to go with Babs, since I recently saw "Black Sunday" courtesy of you, and realized how sexy and beautiful she is--but I admit I haven't been exposed to as much of Ingrid as I would have liked, other than ogling her photo in "Famous Monsters" when I was a lad.

12) Favorite Holiday Movie (doesn’t have to be Christmas oriented)
I'd sure like to see "Magoo's Christmas Carol" again...my dad could never watch it without crying at the end! But barring that, I'll go with "It's a Wonderful Life," which came on some dreary 70s day after Christmas in the midst of my teenage years and acted on me like some sort of tonic. I don't watch it often, so as not to wear it out even more than it has been already, but I still love it.

13) Worst Holiday movie (doesn’t have to be Christmas oriented)
I love Murray's choice of that terrible, terrible new musical last year with Kelsey Grammer as Scrooge--Jane Krakowski (sp?) as the Ghost of Christmas So-and-So in a slinky dress, singing in a faux English accent, "Do you remembah? Do you remembah?"--but my own choice is "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation." Ugh.

14) Your all-time favorite hammy actor
Ahem...Charlton Heston.

15) Favorite Federico Fellini movie
Nights of Cabiria

16) Your favorite film critic
Queen Pauline. I'll never forget reading her reviews for the first time, from one of your books, up in your dorm room, and feeling electrified by her perceptions, her power to express them, and her razor-sharp sense of humor.

17) Jason Lee or Jason Mewes?
H'mmm...I think they're both great, and Lee is certainly more accomplished and more talented, but I think Mewes is funnier, so he's my pick.

18) Best use of a natural location setting in a movie
New Zealand in the "Lord of the Rings" movies...runner-up, the coast of Ireland in "Ryan's Daughter" (I got to see it at the Paramount in Portland as a kid in 70mm and 6-track stereo).

19) Worst squandering of a natural location setting in a movie
Er...I dunno. Probably all the locations in "Sidney Sheldon's Bloodline." I don't remember whether any of them were "natural" locations, but I remember how terrible it was and that they traveled to different countries around the world to make this trash.

20) Favorite song from a movie
"Edelweiss" from "The Sound of Music," I guess...so shoot me!

21) Madeline Kahn or Teri Garr?
ARgghh! YOu can't make me choose. No, I'm sorry, I can't choose one. This is even more difficult than Lee and Cushing.

22) Favorite Roger Corman Movie
Ooohhh, man...you're killing me. How about "The Pit and the Pendulum".

23) Your biggest movie-star crush
Crushes through the eons:
1. Julie Christie
2. Julie Newmar
3. Sarah Miles
4. Olivia Hussey(I saw R&J late)
5. Linda Blair (serious).
let's skip over some years, eh?
Currently: Rachel McAdams (I know, I know, she's a young-un, but it's just a movie-star crush).

24) Director you’ve always felt deserved more attention than he/she ever got or has gotten up to this point, and a highlight for you from his/her career
Phil Kaufman has gotten a good deal of attention and acclaim, but considering how great some of his movies are (The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Invasion of the Body Snatchers), I'd expect him to be much busier and more acclaimed...still, he seems a bit off his game these days (though I guess I didn't give "Twisted" a fair shot that night you and I started watching it after 480 tequila shots).

25) Michelle Yeoh or Ziyi Zhang?
I think Ziyi Zhang is really cute and all, but a Chinese co-worker told me she's really bitchy in interviews with Chinese journalists, but nice to American journalists, and besides Michelle Yeoh is truly beautiful, soulful, intelligent and sexy in a grown-up woman way, so I pick her.

26) If the movies’ were to give you a Christmas gift, or a gift for 2006, what would it be? (I mean “the movies” in the most general sense—the film industry, the actors, a director making a certain film, whatever)
Peter Jackson's "The Hobbit."

Anonymous said...

Oh, I forgot to say, Thanks! That was fun--and merry Christmas. Safe travels to Xanadu.
B.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and in my answer to question 1, let me clarify: we didn't live IN a farm, but in a farm house. My family isn't THAT strange.

Lester said...

Dear Professor,
I have a correction to #12 Best Holiday Movie. I must have had "A Christmas Carol" on the brain. The movie I meant to say was "Its a Wonderful Life" with Jimmy Stewart as George Bailey. I absolutely love this movie. Have a wonderful and safe holiday. Say Hi to the family for me. Murray

Beege said...

Daaaaaamn, Dennis.

When it comes to Barth, you put me to shame. I've admitedly not read much of his work (even though many professors urged me to, more so I could critique him, than because they thought I'd agree with him ;)).

Crap. Now I have to think of a director.

Brian Darr said...

I got the feeling that many of these questions were more about “cinematic comfort food” than last summer’s quiz, which I haven’t filled out (not having been a Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule reader until the autumn). So I often tried to answer in that spirit even if certain questions were out of my own “comfort zone”.

1) Describe the moment when you knew you loved the movies
There where many different moments of discovery, at many different levels. I suspect I was probably hooked when my dad took me to see STAR WARS at age 4. I still can remember looking at those Cantina creatures from my four-year-old eyes. Though admittedly, I wasn't movie-obsessed as much as I was STAR WARS obsessed until much later.
2) What prop or costume from a film do you most covet? *
Either Steve Martin’s dental equipment in LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS, or Jeremy Irons’ gynecologist tools for use on mutant women in DEAD RINGERS. Wait, you say those are the same props?
3) Take a famous role and recast it (for example, Audrey Hepburn instead of Andie McDowell in Four Weddings and a Funeral) *
Let’s see, how about putting Robert Mitchum in DeNiro’s role in CAPE FEAR, or Tony Perkins in the role Vince Vaughn made famous in PSYCHO, or Michael Caine in the signature Marky Mark movie THE ITALIAN JOB (he might be pretty good with Sly’s role in GET CARTER or Jude Law’s role in ALFIE too). And there’s this relatively unknown Lithuanian actor named Donatas Banionas who could have nailed Clooney’s part in SOLARIS if given half a chance… I think I’ve got the knack for this!
4) Charlton Heston or George Kennedy?
Heston if only for his role in turning TOUCH OF EVIL into an Orson Welles movie (and, indeed, not only for that).
5) Best performance in an otherwise terrible movie
Ian MacDiarmid in RETURN OF THE JEDI comes to mind.
6) Worst performance in a famously revered or otherwise great movie
Trying to come up with an answer to this category I realized just how forgiving I am of “bad” acting in great movies. For example, as stilted and unnatural as many a Hitchcock actor might have seemed, such performances tend to have no ill effect on, and usually are beneficial to, his films’ overall impact. So I thought I’d use this space to beat up a little on a “great” movie that many “revere” but that I never connected with. I like THE GOLD RUSH, I like MODERN TIMES and I Love THE CIRCUS, but CITY LIGHTS just never did it for me (except for the boxing scene), and Virginia Cherrill‘s performance as the blind girl in particular is simply unwatchable (so to speak).
7) Christopher Lee or Peter Cushing?
Hammer films are not exactly my area of expertise but between WITCHFINDER GENERAL and his good sense not to accept a role as a Bond villain, Peter Cushing wins. Also on the count of being in the better George Lucas movie.
8) Favorite Walter Hill movie
Having seen only a few I'll happily go with THE WARRIORS but will be perusing others’ answers for more recommendations.
9) Favorite musical score from a movie
Tough question, but since you say “favorite” I’ll pick a sentimental one: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK.
10) Describe the most scared you’ve ever been in a theater, or the scariest moment you recall seeing in a movie
I remember going to a May Fair at my church as a kid. For some reason one of the entertainments there was that they were playing clips from (mostly) recent films on a screen set up in the choir room. I remember sitting through clips from FLASH GORDON, a SUPERMAN movie and THE THREE CABALLEROS before they played a few scenes from ALIEN. It culminated, of course, with the scene where John Hurt’s chest gets ripped open. Terrified, I ran from the room and don't think I ever set foot in a theatre playing a horror movie for at least ten years. The image of the alien coming out of his body haunted me until I finally watched the full movie on video at age 25 or so.
11) Ingrid Pitt or Barbara Steele?
Must go with Steele. From my North American perspective, SHIVERS beats WICKER MAN any day.
12) Favorite Holiday Movie (doesn’t have to be Christmas oriented)
Let’s try one for each of five holidays:
Halloween: HALLOWEEN
Dia de los Muertos: MACARIO
Christmas: THE SHOP AROUND THE CORNER
Groundhog Day: GROUNDHOG DAY
Easter: LIFE OF BRIAN
13) Worst Holiday movie (doesn’t have to be Christmas oriented)
INDEPENDENCE DAY
14) Your all-time favorite hammy actor
Toshiro Mifune edges out Klaus Kinski.
15) Favorite Federico Fellini movie
THE WHITE SHEIK is wonderful.
16) Your favorite film critic
A tie between Rudolf Arnheim and Vern.
17) Jason Lee or Jason Mewes?
Lee has been decent in a couple non-Kevin Smith movies anyway.
18) Best use of a natural location setting in a movie
Having recently seen ZABRISKIE POINT for the first time I have to say that Antonioni’s use of Death Valley obliterates the memory of all other comers in my mind right now. And this is only a couple weeks after concluding that he was resting on Antonio Gaudi’s laurels for certain stretches of THE PASSENGER.
19) Worst squandering of a natural location setting in a movie
The shooting of THE BEACH literally squandered the actual beauty of Ko Phi Phi in real life, so it has to win this contest.
20) Favorite song from a movie
Well it totally depends on my mood of course. How can one compare “When You Wish Upon a Star” against “Help!” or “That’s Entertainment!” against “Repo Man”? But if I really have to pick a single favorite, it has to be something from the THE HARDER THEY COME soundtrack, probably the title track.
21) Madeline Kahn or Teri Garr?
In YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN, Kahn, but for her career, Garr.
22) Favorite Roger Corman Movie
Have I seen any? Well, actually yeah, a few. I have a soft spot for the Corman-produced, Penelope Spheeris-directed SUBURBIA. I need to see the Monte Hellman-directed ones.
23) Your biggest movie-star crush
Kate Winslet has probably lasted longest, since seeing her in HEAVENLY CREATURES and seeing almost everything she’s done since (though I note even she failed to bring me out for FINDING NEVERLAND so perhaps the fixation is fading?)
24) Director you’ve always felt deserved more attention than he/she ever got or has gotten up to this point, and a highlight for you from his/her career
William Wellman doesn’t seem to get the respect he deserves from auteurists, who seem to regard him as unquestionably inferior to the likes of Ford, Hawks, Lang, Walsh, etc. while every film I see of his makes me more convinced he belongs near or among their ranks. BEAU GESTE is a personal fave.
25) Michelle Yeoh or Ziyi Zhang?
I’ve seen WING CHUN. Michelle.
26) If the movies were to give you a Christmas gift, or a gift for 2006, what would it be? (I mean “the movies” in the most general sense—the film industry, the actors, a director making a certain film, whatever)
A travelling Friz Freleng retrospective for the 100th anniversary of his birth this year.

Anonymous said...

1) Describe the moment when you knew you loved the movies

Well I was always an avid film lover because I watched everything that was on TV or we went to the MOVIES as a family on a regular basis. But I have to say that the film that kicked me in the head and made love the movies was when I say in the beautiful Chinese Theater and FELT it shake, rattle and roll during the movie EARTHQUAKE in SENSURROUND.

2) What prop or costume from a film do you most covet? *

I would love to have one of those MOTION TRACKERS that the colonial marines used to track the XENOMORPHS in James Cameron's fantastic sequel ALIENS

3) Take a famous role and recast it (for example, Audrey Hepburn instead of Andie McDowell in Four Weddings and a Funeral) *

Bruce Lee would've been awesome in the roll of the great Jedi Knight Mace Windu played by Samuel L. Jackson. Think of it, Mace Windu is described as a powerful Jedi second only to Master Yoda. And at 62 years old Bruce Lee would've probably still been in great physical shape to play a wise old powerful Jedi who would wield a mean Light Saber.

4) Charlton Heston or George Kennedy?

I love Charlton Heston but ever since I saw "Thunderbolt and Lightfoot" there is a scene where George Kennedy literally stole my heart. In it he's masquerading as a ice cream man driving thru a suburban neighborhood when he gets "grilled" by a smart ass kid. George Kennedy finally responds to this little smart ass by telling him to ge "fuck a duck." You gotta love him for that.

5) Best performance in an otherwise terrible movie.

Yoda a.k.a. Frank Oz in The Phantom Menace

6) Worst performance in a famously revered or otherwise great movie.

I'd have to go with Edward G. Robinson in the 10 Commandments.

7) Christopher Lee or Peter Cushing?

Christopher Lee...as Francisco Scaramanga a.k.a. The Man With The Golden Gun. There is no one better.

8) Favorite Walter Hill movie.

I have a 3 way tie with this one. The Long Riders, The Warriors and Extreme Prejudice.

9) Favorite musical score from a movie

Jaws by John Williams.

10) Describe the most scared you’ve ever been in a theater, or the scariest moment you recall seeing in a movie.

In 1972 I was 11 years old and my father took my little brother and I to a drive-in theater, the old whittier drive-in, to see The Legend of Boggy Creek. The scene where one of the characters goes to the bathroom and is sitting on the toilet when suddenly this bigfoot creature breaks the window in that room really scared the piss outa me.

11) Ingrid Pitt or Barbara Steele?

I gotta go with Barbara Steele. Caged Heat is my little bastard child I don't talk about. My god I'm a man for christ sake. If your a man you gotta love Caged Heat...end of story.

12) Favorite Holiday Movie (doesn’t have to be Christmas oriented)

Don't know why but April Love with Pat Boone always reminds me of Easter. Die Hard is my Christmas movie although I have a soft spot for One Magic Christmas.

14) Your all-time favorite hammy actor

James Woods

15) Favorite Federico Fellini movie?

The only one I've seen that fellini was credited as a screen writer would be Sweet Charity.

16) Your favorite film critic?

David Spade on SNL

17) Jason Lee or Jason Mewes?

Anyone who can smoke like that and still deliver his lines is always the better ACTOR. Jay wins.

18) Best use of a natural location setting in a movie.

The Hills Have Eyes

19) Worst squandering of a natural location setting in a movie

All the Star Wars prequels

20) Favorite song from a movie

Skid Row from Little Shop of Horrors although the title song from That Thing You Do is a close second. And if I can stop being cynical for a minute I would have to say every song from Fiddler on The Roof, The Sound of Music, etc, etc, etc. Love those musicals!

21) Madeline Kahn or Teri Garr?

Why not both??

22) Favorite Roger Corman Movie

Rock 'n' Roll High School

23) Your biggest movie-star crush

Linda Blair although Shawnee Smith is a very close second (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)

24) Director you’ve always felt deserved more attention than he/she ever got or has gotten up to this point, and a highlight for you from his/her career

The late great Ted Demme. I thought his insightful film Beautiful Girls was a winning moment. But his documentary A Decade Under The Influence demonstrated his potential that was sadly never to be.

25) Michelle Yeoh or Ziyi Zhang?

I bow to Ms. Yeoh

26) If the movies’ were to give you a Christmas gift, or a gift for 2006, what would it be? (I mean “the movies” in the most general sense—the film industry, the actors, a director making a certain film, whatever)

Well, I'm a big fan of the old movie studio lots and the magic they were able to make within those walls. It saddens me to no end when I think of film fans will never see the famous HIGH NOON western set (bulldozed for a parking lot) or enourmous backlot of 20th Century Fox (sold off to create Century City) or the sin of all sins, the destruction of the treasured sets of the old MGM/RKO backlots of Culver City. So much of film today has relied on technology such as CGI to transport the audience that it has somehow made that trip less fantastical than it once was. The greatest gift I could receive would be to have some group of investors or directors or producers get together and find an area outside of L.A. and construct the next great studio lot that would recreate some of those lost sets and create new ones for the next several decades. God I would love to see that. I remember Debbie Reynolds talking about how she begged and pleaded with Kirk Kirkorian not to sell off and bulldoze the MGM lot. She even offered to stand in from of the main gates and sell tickets so people could see that beautiful place for themselves. It makes me weep!

L. Rob Hubb said...

Happy Holidays, Dennis!

1.) The earliest moment that I can recall is upon seeing 2001, at an afternoon matinee – I’d read the Clarke novelization, read THE MAKING OF 2001, had the soundtrack, but had yet to actually see the film, until the chance came during one of the re-releases in the mid-70’s.

2.) Not that much into memorabilia – just never cultivated the right contacts. Although, I would love to have a ZARDOZ mask – and the stone head to set out as a yard decoration.

3.) I’m bad at this game… I know that I would’ve cast someone like Vincent D’Onofrio as Carl Denham in KONG before going near Jack Black… I’d rather cast in-famous roles – like say, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman in a remake of Zulawski’s POSSESSION.

4.) Not a fair question – both have their virtues as well as flaws… however – despite my like of Kennedy, Heston IS Legend ;\

5.) Too many of those to name… nothing in particular is jumping right out at me.

6.) Dustin Hoffman in RAIN MAN.

7.) Again, unfair question – apples & oranges – but again, Lee is now of legendary stature.

8.) SOUTHERN COMFORT followed by THE LONG RIDERS/THE WARRIORS (non ‘director’s cut’, of course). That ‘director’s cut’ treatment would’ve been better suited to STREETS OF FIRE, when the career downturn started…

9.) THE BIG COUNTRY – Jerome Moross/FAHRENHEIT 451 – Bernard Herrmann/ THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE UGLY - Ennio Morricone

10.) Watching THE HAUNTING, after coming come from school on an afternoon matinee – Alone. In the house.

The sequence with the face in the wall and Julie Harris discovers that Claire Bloom has not been holding her hand.

Not something I’d do again.

11.) Hmmm – hard one. Barbara has the eyes and the class, yet Ingrid wasn’t afraid to bare some skin… Who says I have to choose? The ONLY correct answer is BOTH.

12.) A CHRISTMAS CAROL – the Alestair Sim version… and for the Festivus crowd, THE REF.

13.) SANTA CLAUS THE MOTION PICTURE – this is what killed Dudley Moore, not some nerve degenerative disease.

14.) ‘Captain’ William Shatner, who channeled that hamminess into an active ‘comeback’ career that has netted him 2 Emmys and a record deal! Top that, Leslie Nielson!

15.) I’ve never managed to sit through an entire Fellini film – which probably blows what little cred I have right out of the water.

16.) No favorite critic – did read the reviews of Kael, and of Kehr, when he was critic for The Chicago Reader and liked them both, but my favorite movie critic is myself.

17.) Neither

18.) WALKABOUT, PICNIC AT HANGING ROCK

19.) ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST – I know I’ll get brickbats for this, but I do feel that better use could’ve been made of iconic locations through the whole movie, not just Jill’s wagon ride.

20.) “Love Power”, from THE PRODUCERS – Dick Shawn’s ‘audition’ song/”The Porpoise Song” and “Daddy’s Song” from HEAD

21.) Like and respect them both… but I have to go with Terri. She’s a cultural touchstone…

Toni Basil>The Monkees> STAR TREK>Elvis>THE MOONSHINE WAR>Mel Brooks>Steven Spielberg>David Letterman>Martin Scorsese.

22.) THE INTRUDER

23.) Have had no big movie-star crush

24.) James Frawley should have had more attention as a comedy director – he’s mainly known for THE MUPPET MOVIE, but people forget that he started out directing THE MONKEES television show – looking at those episodes now, they hold up much better than even present day sitcoms.

He did a little seen feature, KID BLUE, an adaptation of a Larry McMurtry novel (LEAVING CHEYENNE) with Blythe Danner, but his break-out SHOULD have been THE BIG BUS, a parody of disaster movies that didn’t come out at the right time… four years later in 1980, The Zuckers would hit pay dirt with AIRPLANE! that was the same type of parody, but more frenetic and with smuttier humor. THE BIG BUS did pick up a cult following and was a staple of the CBS Evening Movie in the late 70’s – early 80’s.

25.) I don’t know much about either actress to make an informed decision.

26.) An R1 release of PRETTY POISON;
a strapped-on, blown-out, extras to the max- release of BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS, with cast/crew commentaries and/or interviews, tons of stills, deleted scenes, and whatever else they can dredge up related to the production;

and for The Industry to regain the ability to do simple math: good writing + good actors + imaginative directors = Good Movies.

Do The Math.

Lastly, a moment of silence for the passing of Vincent Schiavelli over the Christmas holiday... and for the ranks of skilled character actors, which is shrinking rapidly due to such events.

Anonymous said...

1) I'm thinking...
2) The Aston Martin in "Goldfinger." However, if Lesley Ann Warren's red T-Bird in "Choose Me" comes equipped with Lesley Ann Warren...
3) Isn't this precisely the problem with movies today?
4) Charlton Heston
5) There are a lot of movies that are worse than "The Natural," but I can't stand it. However, Wilford Brimley and Richard Farnsworth were well-cast, and they delivered performances that match perfectly the characters as they were written by Bernard Malamud in his novel.
6) Sorry, Blaaagh, but I just never get tired of bashing Rex Harrison in "My Fair Lady." And George Chakiris as a Puerto Rican in "West Side Story" is laughable.
7) Christopher Lee. Because his introduction of Meat Loaf on Saturday Night Live is simultaneously one of the best and funniest intros I have ever heard.
8) I really like "Southern Comfort," but I'll choose "Hard Times."
9) "Days of Heaven." I also like Robert's choice of "The Big Country." And I am very fond of musical scores for "Local Hero" and "The Magnificent Seven."
10) I can't remember the name of this movie that scared me when I was a kid, so I'll go with my alternate, which was when my brother and I went to see Michael Cimino's "Year of the Dragon" at a multiplex in Monterey Park, CA. We were two of maybe a dozen non-Asians in a packed theater, and we weren't sure if we should leave the movie before the end credit roll or if we sit through all the credits and hope that the theater emptied out. In either case, we were sure we were going to get our butts kicked in the parking lot because a lot of people in the audience were not too happy with what they had just seen on the screen.
11) Dunno
12) I'm with Robert. "Scrooge" (A Christmas Carol), Alistair Sim version
13) "Surviving Christmas." Although, when James Gandolfini smashes Ben Affleck with a snow shovel, that's a damn satisfying moment.
14) Basil Rathbone is up there, but I would have to go with Robert Armstrong.
15) "Juliet of the Spirits."
16) R.D. Cozzalio. Second place is a tie between Kevin Thomas and Linda Gross of the late '70s/early '80s LA Times.
17) Huh...
18) Alberta, Canada, subbing for the Texas Panhandle in "Days of Heaven; the French countryside in "The Duellists"; and the river in "Deliverance." And Robert's choice of "Picnic at Hanging Rock" is a real good one.
19) Nothing comes to mind.
20) "Singing In The Rain" sung by Gene Kelly; "Town Without Pity" sung by Gene Pitney; Shirley Bassey singing "Goldfinger"; and Jimmy Cliff singing "Many Rivers To Cross," "You Can Get It If You Really Want" and "The Harder They Come.")
21) Madeline Kahn. Her work in "De Duva" is the tiebreaker.
22) Don't have one.
23) It wouldn't be right to say anyone other than CLAUDIA CARDINALE, but Claudia is more than just a crush. Hayley Mills. That's a crush.
24) I have always felt that John Sayles ("Matewan") and Gillian Armstrong ("High Tide") have been underappreciated. But really, where are you, Bill Forsyth?
25) Dang. Having to choose stinks.
26) Fewer remakes would be nice. Heck, an original idea for a movie would be really nice.

Virgil Hilts

Anonymous said...

Dang, this is fun to read. It's almost like getting a series of "holiday" gifts as each one is posted. Virgil, I forgive your bashing of poor old non-singer Rex Harrison, because I have the "holiday" spirit, because Harrison is dead already, and because he was reportedly so arrogant that he probably deserved to be taken down a notch. But anyway, really good call on DAYS OF HEAVEN, both for the score and for the use of natural locations...sigh, wish I'd thought of it.

Anonymous said...

1) Describe the moment when you knew you loved the movies

I was a 12-year old on a trip through Canada with my parents. We went to a screening of THE TEMPLE OF DOOM, along with my brother. I had been nuts about film for some time already, but that roller coaster ride of a flick (the first Indiana Jones I ever saw) made me realize how deeply I was addicted to the movie experience. Probably because it’s a filmmaker’s tribute to the same addiction. DOOM is still my favorite of the trilogy, despite what others say, and a testament to the glory days when Spielberg wasn’t ashamed to make Kate Capshaw scream like there’s no tomorrow. (He might still do it secretly if he's, like, really good in bed.)

2) What prop or costume from a film do you most covet?

The miniature maze in THE SHINING, because I love to get lost in that movie. For some dark reason, the Lament Configuration Puzzlebox from HELLRAISER is another thing that comes to mind.

3) Take a famous role and recast it

BATMAN’s the Joker, played by Michael Keaton in a double role.

4) Charlton Heston or George Kennedy?

Heston, with his guns on him.

5) Best performance in an otherwise terrible movie

Julian Beck as reverend Henry Kane in POLTERGEIST II: THE OTHER SIDE.

6) Worst performance in a famously revered or otherwise great movie

Not original, but a reliable choice: Quentin Tarantino in PULP FICTION.

7) Christopher Lee or Peter Cushing?

Lee, because he’s cool as well as scary and fun.

8) Favorite Walter Hill movie

The one just before he started making them, when they were still called Sam Peckinpah movies. I feel Walter Hill has never made a movie that lived up to his obvious directorial flourish, which wasn’t so groundbreaking to begin with. I’m not a Hill hater; his movies just don’t stick with me.

9) Favorite musical score from a movie

Changes every time. Right now, I love the scores from MEMORIES OF MURDER (Tarô Iwashiro), THE VILLAGE (James Newton Howard), SOLARIS (Cliff Martinez) and BIRTH (Alexandre Desplat).

10) Describe the most scared you’ve ever been in a theater, or the scariest moment you recall seeing in a movie

I’ll name one out of many examples: There is an extremely chilling moment in Ole Bornedal’s NATTEVAGTEN (the superior Danish original of the lame Hollywood remake NIGHTWATCH that starred Ewan McGregor), in which a girl investigates the room of somebody who is likely to be the story’s killer, and slowly but surely realizes he’s hiding behind the very door she entered through a minute before. It’s a moment that made all the hairs in my neck stand up, reminiscent to Nancy Allen’s bathroom scene in DRESSED TO KILL.

11) Ingrid Pitt or Barbara Steele?

Sorry, my geek alert buzzer just went off, so I’m afraid I can’t answer that question. These ladies can’t hold a candle to Racquel Welch in ONE MILLION YEARS B.C. anyway.

12) Favorite Holiday Movie

CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY. Both the Gene Wilder and Johnny Depp versions are fine with me.

13) Worst Holiday movie

I was underwhelmed by THE POLAR EXPRESS, although I usually like Zemeckis. What a dull story that is!

14) Your all-time favorite hammy actor

George C. Scott. Boy, I love it when this guy gets angry!

15) Favorite Federico Fellini movie

Clowns and fat ladies scare me.

16) Your favorite film critic

Dana Linssen.

I would have said Dennis Cozallio if he hadn’t faced me with yet another pointless, irresistable movie quiz to waste my precious holiday time. ;-)

17) Jason Lee or Jason Mewes?

Jason Lee.

18) Best use of a natural location setting in a movie

PICNIC AT HANGING ROCK. You beat me to it, Robert.

19) Worst squandering of a natural location setting in a movie

With pain in my heart, I say: FULL METAL JACKET. Not that Kubrick did a poor job of making London and Essex look like Parris Island, mind you, but I still believe Kubrick should have gotten over his fear of flying for this one.

20) Favorite song from a movie

What comes to mind: Randy Newman’s “When She Loved Me”, sung by Sarah McLachlan, from TOY STORY 2.

21) Madeline Kahn or Teri Garr?

I guess I’m not American enough to answer that question.

22) Favorite Roger Corman Movie

THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM? Seen way too little of them, though.

23) Your biggest movie-star crush

Get ready for a major confession. Remember that mini-series THE THORN BIRDS in the early eighties? Well, little girl Meggie in the full-grown shape of English goddess Rachel Ward stole my young boy’s heart. The sight of Richard Chamberlain as Father Ralph struggling to hold on to his priest’s collar while this heavenly brunette was practically tearing off his robe with her teeth assured me that atheism was the path laid before me. Those longing brown eyes, that deep husky voice, those glistering beads of sweat dripping down the curves of her naturally tanned body... Damn, is this thing out on DVD?

Ward played a highclass hooker opposite Burt Reynolds in SHARKY’S MACHINE, a femme fatale opposite Steve Martin in DEAD MEN DON’T WEAR PLAID, a vigilante teacher in the Australian outback in FORTRESS and a cry-baby with a serious bad-hair day in AGAINST ALL ODDS. I never forgave her hubby and Thorn Birds co-star Bryan Brown for putting a halt to Ward’s film career because he couldn’t stand to see other men kissing his missus (or so the tabloids said--according to online sources she took a three year break to actually study acting). Then again, seeing how insanely passionate Rachel Ward kissed these other men back, who could blame the poor guy? My kind of woman!

Current crush: Jennifer Connelly.

24) Director you’ve always felt deserved more attention than he/she ever got or has gotten up to this point, and a highlight for you from his/her career

Definitely Jonathan Glazer, whose BIRTH is a largely overlooked masterpiece. 24 Lies A Second is working on an essay that will rectify this error!

25) Michelle Yeoh or Ziyi Zhang?

This seems to me like a choice between dominant or submissive. I choose Zhang today, but may regret it tomorrow.

26) If the movies’ were to give you a Christmas gift, or a gift for 2006, what would it be?

Lots of money to make one of my own.

And if it isn’t too much to ask: bring Stanley Kubrick back from the dead, or successfully translate Neil Gaiman’s graphic novel epic THE SANDMAN to the small or silver screen (not likely).

Anonymous said...

1) Describe the moment when you knew you loved the movies

Never happened. Oh, wait, during Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Oh, wait, not that. Never mind.

2) What prop or costume from a film do you most covet? *

bleck.

3) Take a famous role and recast it (for example, Audrey Hepburn instead of Andie McDowell in Four Weddings and a Funeral) *

too many possibilities. Can't think of any. You should have specified whether to go for positive, negative or hilarious effect.

4) Charlton Heston or George Kennedy?

Don't care.

5) Best performance in an otherwise terrible movie

Ack! Too hard to think of!

6) Worst performance in a famously revered or otherwise great movie

Ack! Too hard to think of!

7) Christopher Lee or Peter Cushing?

Don't care really. (I mean no preference)

8) Favorite Walter Hill movie

Walter Hill = hack

But I'll choose Brewster's Millions for fun.

9) Favorite musical score from a movie

Pick a favorite musical score from every movie ever made? Take a hike, buster!

I'll pick Casino Royale's score as the most brilliantly insane musical score from any movie. And it's not a great movie.

10) Describe the most scared you’ve ever been in a theater, or the scariest moment you recall seeing in a movie

I don't remember. I don't think I was scared.

11) Ingrid Pitt or Barbara Steele?

I don't know who the first one is, so Barbara Steele.

12) Favorite Holiday Movie (doesn’t have to be Christmas oriented)

Only It's a Wonderful Life springs to mind, and it is a really excellent movie on all levels, so it's okay to pick it.

Bonus response:
Best SHORT holiday movie: Laurel and Hardy's "Big Business" -- the one where they go selling Christmas trees door-to-door.

13) Worst Holiday movie (doesn’t have to be Christmas oriented)

So many. What was that one with that guy Sinbad?

14) Your all-time favorite hammy actor

Sheldon Leonard perhaps (if that's fair to him) especially in the film noir "Decoy," but he's quite amusingly hammy also in "Somewhere in the Night."

15) Favorite Federico Fellini movie

8 and 1/2

16) Your favorite film critic

Hans Lucas

(extra points to anyone who understands that.)

17) Jason Lee or Jason Mewes?

Jason Lee, hands down.

18) Best use of a natural location setting in a movie

Ah, whatever. I don't have to answer your stupid questions. Ask Anthony Mann. How about the Far Country. Yeah, go with that.

19) Worst squandering of a natural location setting in a movie

Was there a natural location in Chain Reaction? 'Cause I'm sure that was probably a bad movie.

20) Favorite song from a movie

????? You are insane if you think I'm going to answer a question this broad.

But I'll pick "Uncle Fucker" just 'cause you're pissing me off.

21) Madeline Kahn or Teri Garr?

Ick on both. Have slight fondness for Teri Garr for being involved in "One from the Heart," but really, is she an actress, or literally just the girl/woman next door? Madeline Kahn is annoying.

22) Favorite Roger Corman Movie

I don't like Roger Corman, but ones I liked are the Poe ones, and the Haunted Palace (1963) was the best so far that I saw.

23) Your biggest movie-star crush

Ah, I don't know. I really don't obsess about them. (And I'm much healthier for it!)

24) Director you’ve always felt deserved more attention than he/she ever got or has gotten up to this point, and a highlight for you from his/her career

Depends what you mean by "attention" and where, but it seems to me that Bergman, Fellini, Antonioni, Godard et al. are alive and well in the bodies of Theo Angelopoulos, Abbas Kiarostami, Hou Hsiao-Hsien (and Godard is still going strong in his own body!-- Oh, wait, Bergman too!) and many others I can't think of right now. But unlike in the '60s, when people in America had often heard of these people, especially Bergman, these "equivalents" have nowhere near the same visibility at all, despite being equally vital and excellent artists. They do, however, have plenty of attention in the right film magazines and blogs, so it's not like they're unknown, they're just not as well-known as they ought to be in comparison to their '60s counterparts. Angelopoulos - Eternity and a Day, Kiarostami - Homework, Hou Hsiao-Hsien - Good Men/Good Women and The Puppetmaster,
Godard the Latter - "Soft and Hard" and "Sauve qui peut (la vie)."

There were some other names too. Tsai Ming-Liang perhaps. Oops, I had trouble choosing one. Oh, well.

25) Michelle Yeoh or Ziyi Zhang?

Michelle Yeoh will hopefully kill Zhang Ziyi soon.

26) If the movies’ were to give you a Christmas gift, or a gift for 2006, what would it be? (I mean “the movies” in the most general sense—the film industry, the actors, a director making a certain film, whatever)

There is already so much good stuff out there (more than anyone can watch), and it's just that it's unrecognized or unexplored (see response to #24!). So I'd say not a present for me, but that more people would discover these wonderful directors and actors and movies as a present to themselves! (And places like Netflix can help you do that even if you live in the boonies!) And not just those contemporary directors I was mentioning, but all the great classic/silent/classic foreign movies too!

- The Mysterious ADrI^n B=tam)aX

Anonymous said...

Truly I feel I haven’t been studying hard enough to keep up with the rest of the class at SLIFR U. If “Professor Brainerd’s Christmas Vacation Quiz” were made into a campus comedy starring the Mysterious Adrian Betamax as the smart angsty nihilist, I would hope to be cast as his oblivious stoner dropout sidekick.

1) Describe the moment when you knew you loved the movies

Sulking in the family room at age 13, having survived another day of middle school and gymnastics practice, eating Jello instant vanilla pudding straight out of the mixing bowl, and watching a worn-out videotape of the Kevin Sullivan ANNE OF GREEN GABLES movie or its sequel for the tenth straight time, I realized that movies might well save me from myself.

2) What prop or costume from a film do you most covet?

You know, now that I’ve got a cheese grater like the one Amelie de Montmartre uses, I’m cool in this category. Just don’t ask me what movie poster I most covet, whatever you do.

3) Take a famous role and recast it (for example, Audrey Hepburn instead of Andie McDowell in Four Weddings and a Funeral)

4) Charlton Heston or George Kennedy?

Ooh, tough call. CH: I really liked his performance in BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE. GK: [Goes to IMDb… no picture, damn! Scrolling… Hey, how many bastard sequels to NAKED GUN did they make anyway?]

5) Best performance in an otherwise terrible movie

John C. Reilly’s terrific performance in MAGNOLIA only increased my wrath toward PT Anderson and his mess of a movie.

6) Worst performance in an otherwise great movie

I love ORLANDO, until cheesy greazy Billy Zane comes along and puffs his chest and wiggles his eyebrows and ruins everything. Come to think of it, I love “Twin Peaks” until John Justice Wheeler comes along and wiggles his eyebrows at Audrey Horne and ruins everything. Damn that Billy Zane. (But bless the IMDb! Can any of y’all Hannibal Lector fans recommend this gem from the Billy Zane oeuvre: IL SILENZIO DEI PROSCIUTTI [THE SILENCE OF THE HAMS]?)

7) Christopher Lee or Peter Cushing?

Like I’ve managed to concentrate any effort to study Hammer movies since Mr. Hand’s pop quiz. (Hey, can I get partial credit for identifying the Hammer connection?) Even though I’m not qualified to answer, I’m gonna say Christopher Lee, because Peter Cushing is nowhere to be seen in THE RETURN OF CAPTAIN INVINCIBLE.

8) Favorite Walter Hill movie

9) Favorite musical score from a movie

Zbigniew Preisner’s music for BLEU came first to mind. The RZA’s music for GHOST DOG came second.

10) Describe the most scared you’ve ever been in a theater, or the scariest moment you recall seeing in a movie

11) Ingrid Pitt or Barbara Steele?

12) Favorite Holiday Movie (doesn’t have to be Christmas oriented)

Every Halloween, I force anybody within reach to watch THE FRIGHTENERS with me. This Christmas, my mum, in a fit of cine-filial pride and enthusiasm, purchased and distributed every copy of Danny Boyle’s MILLIONS found in the Greater Michiana area and forced everyone within reach to watch it, plus the English subtitles I cocreated, with her. (“Forget Jimmy Stewart and that kid with the tongue to the flagpole! This is the new Christmas movie. And my daughter worked on the DVD.”) My favorite explicitly “holiday” movie would have to be the Holly Hunter-starring HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS. I’m a sucker for all that alliteration. (How’s that for a rambling stoner non-answer?)

13) Worst Holiday movie (doesn’t have to be Christmas oriented)

14) All-time favorite hammy Italian actor

Vittorio Gassman

15) Favorite Federico Fellini movie

Hooray! LE NOTTI DI CABIRIA ties with GIULIETTA DEGLI SPIRITI for yin. (Fantasy: Giulietta Masina takes out Mastroianni’s Guido from 8 1/2.) ROMA (riveting images of the metro tunnels and of Anna Magnani) makes yang.

16) Your favorite film critic?

If I weren’t such a slacker, I’d have been the first to submit Dennis Cozzalio as my favorite critic. Ooh, I just read Thom McGregor’s answers though, and several chortles and exclamations of “Man, why didn’t I think of that?” later, I’m thinking she’s my current favorite. All right, I try to remember to read SALON’s “Beyond the Multiplex,” because Andrew O’Hehir can usually get me all excited by writing something like “CACHE: Joseph Conrad meets David Lynch in a neighborhood not unlike yours and mine.” I also try to remember to be amused by the ONION’s AV Clubbers.

17) Jason Lee or Jason Mewes?

The real me, who dutifully tagged along on the annual comicon pilgrimage with my fanboy significant other, who dutifully sat through all of Kevin Smith’s movies up to and including the horrible, horrible JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK but who was unceremoniously dumped before having to sit through 2004’s JERSEY GIRL, would like to be considered a conscientious objector and exempted from taking sides.

My stoner persona, however, would obviously pick Jason Mewes.

18) Best use of a New Zealand location in THE LORD OF THE RINGS

Mt. Potts Station as Edoras speaks to my inner lady of Rohan. Matamata as Hobbiton speaks to, well, my inner hobbit. Now please excuse me while I go curl up and cry a puddle over all that beauty.

19) Worst squandering of a natural location setting in a movie

Man, I suppose I should actually watch the whole of FARTIN’ AWAY—er, I mean, FAR AND AWAY so that I’m qualified to trash it. I’m sure I could comfortably nominate it for many, similar categories.

20) Favorite song from a movie

“Movin’ Right Along” performed by Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear.

21) Madeline Kahn or Teri Garr?

22) Favorite Roger Corman Movie

I don’t know, but THE SAGA OF THE VIKING WOMEN AND THEIR VOYAGE TO THE WATERS OF THE GREAT SEA SERPENT sounds too good to be true!

23) Your biggest movie-star crush

My heaviest imaginary relationship with a famous person involved a rock star, not a movie star (and you’d have to apply some serious torture—say, marathon screenings of Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt and Billy Zane—to get me to say more.) With movie stars I guess I’m rather promiscuous. Seeing Capra’s YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU a few years ago had me clipping photos of young James Stewart to hang in my office cubicle and swoon over. Watching Mathieu Kassovitz in AMELIE OF MONTMARTRE has me omitting regular squeals. (Director Jeunet cheerfully points out at various times in the commentary and bonus features that they don’t have Leonardo DiCrapio in France, but they have Mathieu Kassovitz. And I ask myself again, “Self, when are we defecting?”) This year’s movie-star crush (all Karl-Urban-in-DOOM rumors aside) is definitely Romain Duris in DE BATTRE MON COEUR S’EST ARRETE (Zut alors! Another French hottie), a scrumptious blend of Daniel Day-Lewis, Ewan McGregor, and Nick Cave.

24) Director you’ve always felt deserved more attention than he/she ever got or has gotten up to this point, and a highlight for you from his/her career

[Inhaling, red-faced] Yeah! What he [the MAB] said!

25) Michelle Yeoh or Ziyi Zhang?

Okay, I haven’t seen MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA, so I’m going to take this battle back to the caverns of CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON. And I’m going to say… Ziyi Zhang’s Stockholm syndrome—sexy; Shu Lien’s unrequited love—sexier.

26) If the movies’ were to give you a Christmas gift, or a gift for 2006, what would it be? (I mean “the movies” in the most general sense—the film industry, the actors, a director making a certain film, whatever)

Man, I just want to hang out and finish this joint and watch blaaagh, Peet, and Thom open their presents. Well, I suppose I could get off my slacker behind and subscribe to Netflix. Do you think that would thaw a chunk of the MAB’s cold, shriveled heart?

27) Best use of a garden gnome in a movie

Ooh, totally a toss-up between AMELIE and THE CURSE OF THE WERE-RABBIT.

Anonymous said...

blaaagh said, "5) Best performance in an otherwise terrible movie
Faye Dunaway in "Mommie Dearest.""

Hi, blaaagh, enjoyed your answers! And this one reminded me of a fun recent entry at SALON's VIDEO DOG. You might call it "Worst dub job of the best performance in an otherwise terrible movie."

Anonymous said...

Eek! Please accept a clarification and a correction to my answers...

15) Favorite Federico Fellini movie

Hooray! LE NOTTI DI CABIRIA ties with GIULIETTA DEGLI SPIRITI for yin. (Fantasy smackdown [as opposed to date]: Giulietta Masina takes out Mastroianni’s Guido from 8 1/2.) ROMA (riveting images of the metro tunnels and of Anna Magnani) makes yang.

25) Michelle Yeoh or Ziyi Zhang?

Okay, I haven’t seen MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA, so I’m going to take this battle back to the caverns of CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON. And I’m going to say… Ziyi Zhang’s Stockholm syndrome—sexy; Shu Lien’s unconsummated love—sexier.

Just putting the "flub" in "Flubber!"

Anonymous said...

PSaga--thanks for the personal notes! I loved your answers, too--in fact, the only reason I haven't blathered on more in this comments space is that I have too many things to agree with, applaud or condemn from among various respondents' answers. The MOMMIE DEAREST dubbed version is too hilarious; thanks again! I saw it a number of years ago either on AMC or some bay area station, and they totally ignored that part--we were stunned to hear Faye D. shout out "Don't f--- with me, fellas!!" on some weekend matinee showing. Guess they figured the kiddies weren't too interested in watching that camp-fest.

Anonymous said...

I know my homework is a little late, but here goes.

1) Describe the moment when you knew you loved the movies
When the first battle cruiser surged across the screen in Star Wars.
2) What prop or costume from a film do you most covet? *
I’ll take any of James Bond’s cars, with our without Q’s upgrades.
3) Take a famous role and recast it (for example, Audrey Hepburn instead of Andie McDowell in Four Weddings and a Funeral) *
As much as I love him, I thought that Richard Harris did not serve the part of Dumbledore well in the first two Harry Potter movies. Michael Gambon has done an admirable job replacing him, but I always thought that John Hurt, who played Mr. Olivander in the first movie would have been a better choice.
4) Charlton Heston or George Kennedy?
GK, please.
5) Best performance in an otherwise terrible movie
Robert Downey Jr. in The Gingerbread Man
6) Worst performance in a famously revered or otherwise great movie
Joaquin Phoenix in Gladiator. He was the worst thing in a not-so-special movie.
7) Christopher Lee or Peter Cushing?
I’ll go with Grand Moff Tarkin on this one.
8) Favorite Walter Hill movie
48 Hours
9) Favorite musical score from a movie
There are so many: just about anything by Thomas Newman Shawshank Redemption, Meet Joe Black, Road to Perdition, etc., the 2005 version of Pride & Prejudice
10) Describe the most scared you’ve ever been in a theater, or the scariest moment you recall seeing in a movie
I don’t do scary.
11) Ingrid Pitt or Barbara Steele?
No clue
12) Favorite Holiday Movie (doesn’t have to be Christmas oriented)
The Ref
15) Favorite Federico Fellini movie
I haven’t seen any of them.
16) Your favorite film critic
I don’t think I have one.
17) Jason Lee or Jason Mewes?
Jason Lee.
18) Best use of a natural location setting in a movie
As much as I didn’t care for the movies, I’d have to say that Peter Jackson did right by the glorious New Zealand scenery in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
19) Worst squandering of a natural location setting in a movie
The splendor of Hawaii was wasted on Waterworld.
20) Favorite song from a movie
I love music but can’t think of a thing here!
21) Madeline Kahn or Teri Garr?
Madeline Kahn
22) Favorite Roger Corman Movie
Nothing comes to mind.
23) Your biggest movie-star crush
George Clooney *sigh*
24) Director you’ve always felt deserved more attention than he/she ever got or has gotten up to this point, and a highlight for you from his/her career
John Lasseter for giving the world Toy Story 1 & 2 and A Bug’s Life I am cautiously optimistic about the upcoming Cars.
25) Michelle Yeoh or Ziyi Zhang?
Michelle
26) If the movies’ were to give you a Christmas gift, or a gift for 2006, what would it be? (I mean “the movies” in the most general sense—the film industry, the actors, a director making a certain film, whatever) An Academy Award for my man (a girl can dream, can’t she?!) George Clooney.

Anonymous said...

Hi Sharon, Well, at least you know one person is still looking at the comments here (nerd alert!)--I gotta say I loved Richard Harris in the Dumbledore role (double nerd alert) but I like your suggestion of John Hurt for it. Never thought of that. And I heartily agree about Joaquin Phoenix in "Gladiator." He's been good in other stuff, but that phony and unnecessary English accent spoiled whatever else he was trying to do, for me.

Good luck to your buddy George Clooney...Mrs. Blaaagh and I were in Rome a couple of years ago, and all the papers and TV shows couldn't stop rhapsodizing about "GEORGE CLOONEY!!!", so maybe you should hang out in Italy. Ciao!

Scott H. said...

Okay, it's only a month after the original post, but...


1) Describe the moment when you knew you loved the movies
Not a moment but an era: somewhere between 1976 and 1977, bookended by the De Laurentis King Kong and Star Wars. To the best of my recollection, they were the first "grown-up" films (non-Disney) I ever saw. The latter and its pre-1997 sequels are, of course, responsible for me being in the business I'm in now (though not in the job I once dreamed about).

2) What prop or costume from a film do you most covet? *
The obvious answer would be either Luke's or Obi-Wan's lightsaber from Star Wars. The obscure answer would be the "Sex Panther (By Odeon)" cologne bottle and matching presentation box from Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy.

3) Take a famous role and recast it (for example, Audrey Hepburn instead of Andie McDowell in Four Weddings and a Funeral) *
How about replacing Andie McDowell with a box of spaghetti? Or a marble paperweight? Either way, it would turn in a better performance.

4) Charlton Heston or George Kennedy?
Kennedy both for his less obvious politics (allowing for the fact that they may be close to Heston's) and for his willingness to appear in the Naked Gun series. "The water's over there, Frank" is one of my favorite throwaway lines that sends me into convulsions of laughter.

5) Best performance in an otherwise terrible movie
The movie isn't really terrible, but William Hickey in Forget Paris, playing Deborah Winger's doddering father. (Interestingly also featuring the late John Spencer in a small role, when Hickey had earlier played his son on L.A. Law.)

6) Worst performance in a famously revered or otherwise great movie
Mark Hamill in Return of the Jedi. Not that the Star Wars films were ever known for stellar examples of the thespian craft, but some of his line readings are high-school theater bad.

7) Christopher Lee or Peter Cushing?
Cushing. Lee is scary.

8) Favorite Walter Hill movie
You didn't specify Hill-directed, which saves me from punting and choosing Red Heat. Fortunately, he also wrote the story for Aliens.

9) Favorite musical score from a movie
Hmm, you mean the movie score that I bought on vinyl, CD (my first CD purchase ever), and again on CD in a special boxed set? That would be the Star Wars original trilogy in all three cases.

10) Describe the most scared you’ve ever been in a theater, or the scariest moment you recall seeing in a movie
I know it doesn't count, but the TV movie Dark Night of the Scarecrow (featuring Darkman's Larry Drake in a pre-L.A. Law mentally-challenged role) freaked my mother, brother, and I out so much that we slept in the same bed that night. And get your minds out of the gutter.

11) Ingrid Pitt or Barbara Steele?
No clue.

12) Favorite Holiday Movie (doesn’t have to be Christmas oriented)
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.

13) Worst Holiday movie (doesn’t have to be Christmas oriented)
I'd pick the Jim Carrey Grinch on general principles, though I've avoided seeing it.

14) Your all-time favorite hammy actor
Miss Piggy. Badoomcha. Off the top of my head, I'll call a tie between Charles S. Dutton and Harrison Ford (post-Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade). How dare you, sir, indeed!

15) Favorite Federico Fellini movie
The only one I ever saw was Satyricon, and I'm still working through it in therapy.

16) Your favorite film critic
The reviewers on the 3 Black Chicks website.

17) Jason Lee or Jason Mewes?
In Kevin Smith movies, Mewes. In every other possible form of entertainment, Lee.

18) Best use of a natural location setting in a movie
Various North Carolina locations (standing in for colonial-era New York) in Michael Mann's Last of the Mohicans.

19) Worst squandering of a natural location setting in a movie
Mount Etna for Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, both for providing the background for the great big letdown that was the Anakin/Obi-Wan duel and for once again putting the lie to George Luca$$'s assertion that digital effects can replace practical locations.

20) Favorite song from a movie
"I'm a Neat Kind of Guy" from Todd Solondz's little-known debut, Fear, Anxiety, and Depression.

21) Madeline Kahn or Teri Garr?
Garr.

22) Favorite Roger Corman Movie
The Skateboard Kid (executive producer), but only for the kick-ass opening credits song.

23) Your biggest movie-star crush
That's between me and a well-hidden folder on my hard drive.

24) Director you’ve always felt deserved more attention than he/she ever got or has gotten up to this point, and a highlight for you from his/her career
Whit Stillman, Metropolitan.

25) Michelle Yeoh or Ziyi Zhang?
Zhang. Watch The Road Home.

26) If the movies were to give you a Christmas gift, or a gift for 2006, what would it be? (I mean “the movies” in the most general sense—the film industry, the actors, a director making a certain film, whatever)
To understand that movies are at their base level entertainment and that whatever visions or pretensions the director, producer, writer, star, etc. have (to be shocking, to be outrageous, to be lyrical, to be cathartic, to throw in lots of inside jokes) the movie is being made for an audience that just wants to lose themselves in a story for two hours. I have enjoyed movies from nearly every genre but what makes a film truly enjoyable for me is that it feels like the filmmakers know exactly what their film is, know what I want it to be, and don't try to trick me with false sentiment or outlandish effects. It's kind of like a stage magician - now, I'm old enough and knowledgeable enough and cynical enough that I know the cards are marked, the box has a trapdoor, and that the coin was palmed when it looked like he was putting it under the cup. But someone who can overcome that "it's all a trick" cynicism and impress me with their banter, dexterity, and skill is someone whose act is going to leave an impression on me. Similarly, a team of filmmakers who recognize that I know the words are fake, the sets are painted muslin, the monsters are latex and the tears are glycerin but who can still put on a show that leaves me feel like I got my money's worth are always going to impress me more than someone who thinks a lot of fast cuts, digital stunts, and screamed dialogue can cover the fact that there's no real substance to their movie.

Also, I want more Toblerone at the snack counter.

Mr. Middlebrow said...

1) Describe the moment when you knew you loved the movies

Sometime between summers of ‘75 and ’77. That’s a long ‘moment,’ I know. Through an odd combination of fate and nepotism, I landed a part-time job running the projectors at The State, an All Seats $0.99, second-run theatre in Oregon City, Oregon. I was 10. Mind you, these were the waning days (at least at The State) of alternating, carbon-arc fired projectors running 20-minute reels. Remember the little cue dots that would flash in the upper right hand corner?

Not only did I get to see multiple screenings of kiddie matinee fare—Abbot & Costello meet the _______, lots of Disney live-action stuff, The Bugs Bunny Road Runner Movie, etc., I also got a survey course in ‘70s cinema: Jaws, Young Frankenstein, the early/funny Woody Allen (Love and Death and Take the Money and Run), and a raft of random mid-70s flicks: Thunderbolt & Lightfoot, American Graffiti, White Line Fever, Gator, White Lightning, Walking Tall, Food of the Gods, Sherlock Holmes’ Smarter Brother, Dirty Mary and Crazy Larry, Mother, Jugs and Speed, Gone in 60 Seconds, The Eiger Sanction, Silver Streak, etc. Most of it was borderline to wholly inappropriate for a pre-teen. But it sure beat the hell out of a paper route. Especially since, along with wolfing down my weight in popcorn and soda (or pop as we called it then), I made enough money (@ $1.10/hr.!) to buy a sweet 10-speed. The bike is long gone but the impression of those movies on the screen in my head, along with screams of ‘Focus!,’ is as vivid as ever.

Of course, ’77 was also the Year One of my cinephila, on account of a little indie sleeper called Star Wars. Which really just makes Return of the Sith feel all the more like a betrayal. WTF, George?! You were supposed to be the chosen one!

Fast-forward to 1986, when I discovered the Coen bros. I’m hooked for life.

2) What prop or costume from a film do you most covet? *

Chuck Yeager’s A2 (leather flight jacket) from The Right Stuff.

3) Take a famous role and recast it (for example, Audrey Hepburn instead of Andie McDowell in Four Weddings and a Funeral) *

Robert Duval instead of Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman.
Sting as Lestat in Interview w/ a Vampire. (Could just be the subliminal influence of his “Moon Over Bourbon Street” talking.)
Also, I always thought a young Martin Sheen would have made a great Jack Ryan (The Hunt for Red October.)

4) Charlton Heston or George Kennedy?

George Kennedy. Cool Hand Luke and the Airport movies.

Plus, Phil Hartman’s Chuck Heston bits on SNL (“It’s people! Soylent Green is peeeeopllllle!”) pretty much did him in for me. Actually, Wink, I’d like to combine this question with the previous one and imagine for a moment that they swapped all their roles. I’d love to have seen Kennedy in Planet of the Apes.)

5) Best performance in an otherwise terrible movie

Color me stumped. Oh, wait, I’ve got one: Bobcat Goldthwait in Police Academy 2.

6) Worst performance in a famously revered or otherwise great movie

Andie McDowell in Groundhog Day. I just wince every time she opens her mouth.

7) Christopher Lee or Peter Cushing?

Grand Moff Tarkin. What more can I say?

8) Favorite Walter Hill movie

Gotta go for the mainstream choice here, sorry: 48 Hours. Although I must give a nod to Streets of Fire as a pure guilty pleasure. You got Diane Lane and a snarky, weasely Rich Moranis, and Introducing Willem DaFoe as The Heavy. Those soaring Jim Steinman musical numbers. And The Blasters! So maybe I’m double-dipping or gilding the lily (dipping the lily twice in gold?) since I get the feeling the question is meant to shine a light on the idea that the guy’s whole schtick is cult/guilty pleausre?

9) Favorite musical score from a movie

Ocean’s 11 (2001) by David Holmes.
Anything Lalo Schifrin ever did.
Koyaanisqatsi by Philip Glass. You literally can’t separate the music from the visuals.


10) Describe the most scared you’ve ever been in a theater, or the scariest moment you recall seeing in a movie

I’m just not a horror-movie fan, so I should just opt out of this one.

I do have to mention, however, that the first twenty minutes of Saving Private Ryan was nothing short of a mouth-agape, consciousness-altering moment for me. It delivered the utterly un-romanticized horrors of war, the chaos of combat like no movie I’ve ever seen—before or since. I wasn’t scared, so much as, I dunno, enlightened. Horribly enlightened.

Also, the TV ads for The Exorcist were enough to give me nightmares as a freshly confirmed Catholic kid. Which might explain my general aversion to horror pics—especially anything satanic.


11) Ingrid Pitt or Barbara Steele?
Okay, you’re just making these up now, right? Just to flush out the posers?

12) Favorite Holiday Movie (doesn’t have to be Christmas oriented)

It’s a Wonderful Life
How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (The 1966 Chuck Jones version—NOT the live-action knock-off)
The Ref (as an antidote to holiday hypoglycemia)


13) Worst Holiday movie (doesn’t have to be Christmas oriented)

Even though I wouldn’t deign to see it, I’m going to have to go with the aforementioned live-action Grinch, just on principle.

14) Your all-time favorite hammy actor

Gary Cooper. Man, what a scene-chewer! Kidding!

First blush: William Shatner.
Upon consideration: William Shatner. Though, for some reason, Edward G. Robinson comes to mind. Probably the earlier mention of Soylent Green.

15) Favorite Federico Fellini movie

Again, I have to cop to being out of my depth. I can name lots of Fellini titles, and I’ve used the expressions “Fellini-esque” and “You don’t have to be Feillini to figure that one out” with impunity. But I have yet to actually see a Fellini film. The horror. The horror.

16) Your favorite film critic

Anthony Lane, of The New Yorker, hands down.

17) Jason Lee or Jason Mewes?

Much as I love Mewes’ shamelessly id-driven Jay hitting on Linda Fiorentino as all life as we know it is about to be snuffed out, in Dogma, Lee’s performance as Buddy/Syndrome in The Incredibles (on top of the rest of his work) tips the scale in his favor.

18) Best use of a natural location setting in a movie

The Last of the Mohicans (four years living in Asheville, NC, near Chimney Rock, where the final showdown with Magua takes place, will do that to you.)

19) Worst squandering of a natural location setting in a movie

Oregon City, Oregon, in Bandits. (No falls? No elevator? The hell?)
Also the worst squandering of Cate Blanchett

20) Favorite song from a movie

First thought: Bruce Springsteen’s Secret Garden from Jerry McGuire. But really that’s more like ‘most grievously overlooked by the Academy for best song nominee. What’s with those people and their unholy affection for Phil Collins treacle?

From an actual musical: Me ‘Ol Bamboo from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Ah, the ribald subtext of Ian Fleming...

21) Madeline Kahn or Teri Garr?

What am I, Freddy Frankenstein? (“It’s pronounced ‘Fronk-en-steen’”)
Madeline Khan, by a Teutonic titwillow’s breadth.

22) Favorite Roger Corman Movie

Again, not enough appreciation for the genre to offer up a worthwhile answer. If I were to see one, it’s probably be the Frankenstien movie with Deniro and Ken Branaugh.


23) Your biggest movie-star crush

Fay Dunaway in Bonnie and Clyde; Myrna Loy in The Thin Man

24) Director you’ve always felt deserved more attention than he/she ever got or has gotten up to this point, and a highlight for you from his/her career

There was that one guy, Albert Hickock, Freddy Tchotchke, something like that. He did a bunch of movies that were pretty good. Really messed with your head. There was the one with the guy in the shower.

Seriously, um, what the hell happened to Paul Brickman?
Risky Business is/was The Graduate of my generation, with the role of “plastics” being performed by “dermatology.”

Then “Men Don’t Leave” was a really worthwhile, if lower profile, sophomore effort. Then, poof. He’s gone from the radar.

Also, I have to second Snake Plisken’s nomination of Michael Mann. You look over his filmography and you can’t help thinking, Wait, these were all done by the same guy? He’s got so much range; the only thing many of his films have in common is a journeyman’s attention to craft and detail. He’s one good romantic/screwball comedy away from being this generation’s Howard Hawks.


25) Michelle Yeoh or Ziyi Zhang?

Dead heat. Though, given that Risky Business is fresh in my mind, I’m going to go with older and presumably “wiser” Ms. Yeoh. “He said the lady had knowledge. And he was glad to get that knowledge. Because college girls can smell ignorance. Like dogshit.”

26) If the movies’ were to give you a Christmas gift, or a gift for 2006, what would it be? (I mean “the movies” in the most general sense—the film industry, the actors, a director making a certain film, whatever)

Oh, so not the same answer as question #2 then. Got it. (‘Cause, seriously? Yeager’s A2 would absolve a whole jumbo tub of popcorn’s worth of sins.)

Would mild electrocution to or near the genitals of the ass clowns who ruin a movie with their incessant jabbering and cell phone ringing be too much to ask?

I went to, like, three movies last year and every one was, to some degree, marred by a basic lack of consideration. Things that used to be the irksome exception seem to have become the rule.

I know it’s not really ‘The Movies’ to give, but if they could get the man-cub to sleep through the night and be able to be left with a competent sitter, that would be good, too. Yeah, that and the ‘nad-shockers and we can pretty much call it a day. God bless us, every one!



Thanks, Dennis. What a great ride!

Dennis Cozzalio said...

Mr. M-- Thanks for the great list and for checking out the dotty old professor's quiz. It's been a couple months now, and soon it'll be time for gathering all the answers and revisiting all the responses, to be posted soon. And in case you missed 'em, my own answers are posted here.