PROFESSOR ABRONSIUS'S ROBUSTLY RANDOM, ECCENTRICALLY INQUISITIVE, GARLIC-INFUSED MID-SUMMER BACK-TO-SCHOOL QUIZ
The classroom has been dark and dormant for far too long, dear and loyal and trustworthy friends. It's time to get back to the business of sharpening your #2s, putting your head in your hands and submitting to yet another quiz from the hallowed halls of SLIFR University!
As kids start getting ready to go back to school (mine head back to high school tomorrow-- what in the hell ever happened to the concept of summer vacation?), we turn inward, hoping as always to learn something about ourselves, our beliefs, our shared assumptions, the legends and tales we tell ourselves to stave off the despair and terror that lurks in the night, amongst the shadows. And the perfect guide through such a journey can be none other than one of SLIFR U's brightest stars, a fellow who has been around the fringes of academia for what seems like centuries-- he'll admit to having navigated only three of them, but you have a look at that face and tell me if you think he might be being a tad modest. Prepare to turn yourself over to SLIFR's latest adventure in learning at the hands of the esteemed head of the SLIFR U Folklore and Mythology Department, formerly of the University of Konigsberg and just back from an invigorating field trip to the mountains of Transylvania, Professor Abraham Abronsius.
Professor Abronsius asks only, in a longstanding tradition of SLIFR U quizzes past, that you copy your answers into the comments section accompanied by the questions so that readers may more easily access the queries to which your responses refer.
So while there's still time, put away your belongings, sit up straight and prepare yourselves. The sun is starting to sink to the horizon. We haven't much time. Behold, Professor Abronsius's Robustly Random, Eccentrically Inquisitive, Garlic-Infused Mid-Summer Back-to-School Movie Quiz!
1) Name the last 10 movies you've seen, either theatrically or at home
2) Favorite movie feast
3) Dial M for Murder (1954) or Rear Window (1954)?
4) Favorite song or individual performance from a concert film
Excluding another film from the same director, if you were programming a double feature what would you pair with:
5) Alex Cox's Straight to Hell (1986)?
6) Benjamin Christensen's Haxan: Witchcraft Throughout the Ages (1922)?
7) Federico Fellini's I vitteloni (1953)?
8) Vincente Minnelli's The Long, Long Trailer (1953)?
9) Sam Peckinpah's The Ballad of Cable Hogue (1970)?
10) George Englund's Zachariah (1971)?
11) Favorite movie fairy tale
12) What is the sport that you think has most eluded filmmakers in terms of capturing either its essence or excitement?
13) The Seventh Seal (1957) or Wild Strawberries (1957)?
14) Your favorite Criterion Collection release
15) In the tradition of the Batley Townswomen's Guild's staging of the Battle of Pearl Harbor and Camp on Blood Island, who would be the featured players (individual or tag-team) in your Classic Film Star Free-for-all Fight?
16) Throne of Blood (1957) or The Lower Depths (1957)?
17) Your favorite movie snack
18) Robert Altman's Quintet-- yes or no?
19) Name the documentarian whose work you find most valuable
20) The Conversation (1974) or The Godfather Part II (1974)?
21) Favorite movie location you've visited in person
22) If you could have directed a scene from any movie in the hope of improving it, what scene would it be, and what direction would you give the actor(s) in it? (question submitted by Patrick Robbins)
23) The Doors (1991) or JFK (1991)?
24) What is your greatest film blasphemy or strongest evidence of your status as a contrarian? (H/T Larry Aydlette)
25) Favorite pre-1970 one-sheet
26) Favorite post-1970 one-sheet
27) WarGames (1983) or Blue Thunder (1983)?
28) Your candidate for best remake ever made
29) Give us a good story, or your favorite memory, about attending a drive-in movie
30) Favorite non-horror Hammer film
31) Favorite movie with the word/number "seven" in the title (question submitted by Patrick Robbins)
32) Is there a movie disagreement you can think of which would cause you to reconsider the status of a personal relationship?
33) Erin Brockovich (2000) or Traffic (2000)?
34) Your thoughts on the recent online petition demanding that Turner Classic Movies cease showing all movies made after 1960