In this dog day heat, if you were in a multiplex over the weekend, the only rational choice was a cool swim in the refreshing waters of Lake Victoria, where spring break has just sprung. (Yes, it’s the end of summer, but stick with me.) Lots of brewskis, oiled-up, barely clad hotties everywhere, nonstop tunes— And, oh, yeah, if you do decide to take a dip, you might just come out a few pounds lighter, if you come out at all. Because the lake has just been stocked with a particularly vicious variety of prehistoric piranha, and they are hungry for human flesh after millions of years of self-cannibalizing in order to survive. Director Alexandre Aja’s giddy, over-the-top Piranha 3D, a remake of Joe Dante’s drive-in-era (1978) knock-off of Jaws, gets the exploitation spirit exactly right, summoning the spirit of Dante and even throwing in a little Russ Meyer to keep things humming before the body parts really start flying. The 3D image isn’t as clear as it should be (the movie was converted in post-production), but it’s still fun to see what pieces of the unfortunate extras get shorn and then spit back out at the audience. Aja also has a game cast (Elizabeth Shue, Ving Rhames, Jerry O’Connell, Adam Scott and Christopher Lloyd, among others) who make sure the feeding of all those girls and boys gone wild to a pack of very hungry, nasty, meat-eating pescados is as much silly, gory fun as it could possibly be. You can read my full-length review of Piranha 3D right now at Bullz-Eye. Mangia!