Tuesday, February 21, 2006

FOR YOUR EYES ONLY: THE UNOFFICIAL 007 QUIZ


On the day (Feb. 20) which it was reported that new James Bond Daniel Craig got his teeth knocked out for his art, and mere days after it was announced that Eva Green, familiar to those who saw Ridley Scott's Kingdom of Heaven and/or Bernardo Bertolucci's The Dreamers, will be the enticing Vesper Lynd in the upcoming 007 thriller Casino Royale, British newspaper The Guardian has published a brief but amusing Bond quiz that won't hold you over until the movie is released, but it might just inspire a rental or two to keep the flame burning. I scored 10 out of a possible 15, a respectable score, I suppose, and one that generated this comment from the wiseacre quizmaster:

"Although wounded, out of breath and slightly confused, you still managed to halt the bomb detonator with half a second to go, steal the secret code and cop off. However, a bit too close for comfort, 007? "

Try your luck and then register your score in the comments section. The first one to score a perfect 15 (we're on the honor system here, folks) will win the ultimate prize: the undying respect of his or her fellow contestants. (Sorry, but the Broccoli estate wouldn't part with Oddjob's bowler, otherwise I would have gladly handed that over to the winner.)

(Thanks to Anne Thompson at The Hollywood Reporter's Risky Biz blog for the link.)

17 comments:

aaron w graham said...

You scored 11 out of a possible 15
Although wounded, out of breath and slightly confused, you still managed to halt the bomb detonator with half a second to go, steal the secret code and cop off. However, a bit too close for comfort, 007?

Respectable enough. And now I must double back to check out the Altman tribute.

Mr. Middlebrow said...

You scored 11 out of a possible 15
Although wounded, out of breath and slightly confused, you still managed to halt the bomb detonator with half a second to go, steal the secret code and cop off. You also managed to go one better than Dennis. So you've got that going for you, which is nice. However, a bit too close for comfort, 007?


This basically proves the old adage: If you're not smart, you'd better be lucky.

At lest 8 of those were WAGs (wild-ass guesses).

After seeing Layer Cake, I'm actually excited about the prospects of Daniel Craig as Bond. I'm sure it's completely naive, misplaced optimism, but I'm hoping that this new era of Bond-age will benefit from the trend of less-camp/more versimilitude that seems to be creeping into the genre.

Mr. Bond, meet Mr. Bourne.

Brian said...

You scored 12 out of a possible 15
Although wounded, out of breath and slightly confused, you still managed to halt the bomb detonator with half a second to go, steal the secret code and cop off. However, a bit too close for comfort, 007?


Knew 7 of them instantly. Felt pretty sure of 3 others as the most logical choice. WAGs for the other 5, two of which paid off.

Dennis Cozzalio said...

Is anyone getting the feeling that the 007 quizmaster has but a few comments to offer? So far everyone who scored over 10 has had the same comment put forth. You'd probably have to score a perfect 15 to get any real love from this guy! (Hey, I just noticed there was some variance in what he said back to Mr. Middlebrow...)

Speaking of whom, Mr. Middlebrow, I share your hope for the new era Bond, and I think the Bourne movies are admirable targets to shoot for. I just hope that Craig has better luck than Timothy Dalton. Your comments have caused me to bump Layer Cake up a few notches on my Netflix queue too.

aaron w graham said...

So, what are everyone's favorite Bond films?

Dennis Cozzalio said...

My top five:

1) You Only Live Twice (Connery)

2) Goldfinger (Connery)

3) The Spy Who Loved Me (Moore)

4) On Her Majesty's Secret Service (Lazenby)

5) Tomorrow Never Dies (Brosnan-- the Michelle Yeoh factor is a weighty one here)

But each Bond era (except Lazenby's, of course) produced an out-and-out dud too:

Thunderball (Connery)
Moonraker (Moore- the worst James Bond movie ever made?)
License to Kill (Dalton)
The World is Not Enough (Brosnan)

Here's hoping good things for Daniel Craig and Casino Royale.

blaaagh said...

This is outrageous:

You scored 10 out of a possible 15
Although wounded, out of breath and slightly confused, you still managed to halt the bomb detonator with half a second to go, steal the secret code and cop off. However, a bit too close for comfort, 007?

I would have done better, but I didn't think that wet t-shirt competitions had been invented back then. Oh, well. Also, I was stunned to see that Dennis and I have the same #1 favorite Bond film; I haven't seen some of them for awhile, but as I remember here are my favorites:

1. You Only Live Twice
2. Dr. No (saw it again on a plane a few years ago and loved it)
3. Goldfinger
4. On Her Majesty's Secret Service
5. Diamonds Are Forever (OK, I know, but I saw it at the drive-in with my family, and never since, and I have great memories of it).

Brian said...

It's funny, Dennis, that I actually have a soft spot for two of your four duds (Thunderball and the World is Not Enough, my personal favorite of the Brosnan films). Granted, it's been a long time since my intense study of Bondology so my memories of most of the films are pretty much frozen at the place they were when I was a teenager. But, if I were to pick five I'd most want to see again because I think I'd enjoy them the most, they'd be (in chronological order):


Goldfinger
On Her Majesty's Secret Service
Live and Let Die
a View to a Kill
the Living Daylights

aaron w graham said...

I'll pick my favorite Bond film for each actor:

1. On Her Majesty's Secret Service (also, my favorite soundtrack of any of the series)

2. You Only Live Twice (could it be the Roald Dahl adaptation of the novel? Nah, it's Little Nellie.)

3. The Spy Who Loved Me (although I'm fond of Moore's first three)

4. The Living Daylights

5. Tomorrow Never Dies (maybe because this was the first Bond film i'd seen theatrically)

Dennis Cozzalio said...

Brian: I'm usually pretty indulgent when it comes to matters of the length of a movie, but those underwater seuqences in Thunderball just put me to sleep. I always felt that movie could have been tightened by a half-hour or so in those sections. That said, a Connery dud is still a full two stars up on something like Moonraker-- there's really no level field of comparison here. And I wouldn't rule out seeing The World is Not Enough again-- I remembered Goldeneye as being much better than it was when I revisited it (Famke Janssen as Xenia Onatopp continues to fascinate, however), so, conversely, maybe World would work better for me a second time. And it's funny, but I remember being kind of perplexed by the vitriol in the reviews for A View to a Kill, as I enjoyed it quite a bit when I saw it on its theatrical run. I'd be interested in seeing that one again too.

Blaaagh: You Only Live Twice really hangs together well-- it's as spectacular now as it ever was. And I think Diamonds are Forever is fun too-- I saw it at a drive-in, with my surly mother and sister along for the ride, and the more they grumbled, the more I seemed to enjoy it!

MGM: Looks like our Bond taste lines up pretty nicely. The Living Daylights really holds up well, and I may be opening myself up to a barrage of abuse here, but I really like the song from that one, "The Living Daylights" by '80s punchline band A-ha. Duran Duran's "A View to a Kill" is also, in my mind, unfairly derided-- tops in the field, though, is reserved for Nancy Sinatra ("You Only Live Twice") and, of course, Shirley Bassey ("Goldfinger.")

That Little Round-Headed Boy said...

Dennis — I scored 11 out of 15, but it had to be dumb luck on some of those. I worry about Daniel Craig. Very good actor, but why do I sense another Timothy Dalton coming along?

As for my favorite Bond films:

1. You Only Live Twice (I especially love John Barry's score on this one, and the song by Nancy Sinatra.) Sean playing Japanese is so Austin Powers-esque, a certain I don't know what, as the French might say.
2. Dr. No. Three blind mice. Passing the shoe. Honey Ryder. And the good doctor's bubble mask. What's not to like?
3. Goldeneye. I think it still holds up, and is one of the few movies in which Alan Cumming is not totally annoying. I'm with you on Famkke, too. Why has she never shown that much, uh, zest in a role since?
4. Goldfinger. Great bits, but the film is a bit poky. Did we really need to see Odd Job's long, long drive to the auto crusher and back? Wonderful Ken Adam sets, of course.
5. From Russia With Love. I do miss Robert Shaw.

aaron w graham said...

Arguably, The Living Daylights gives us the most faithful portrayal of the character as written by Fleming in his source novels, though I do recall that this one had to be expanded as it’s only a novella. Dalton could have been the best of the bunch, if only there were any more Fleming books to adapt!

I second your warm regards for Sinatra and Bassey’s theme songs, though my favorite remains Louis Armstrong’s “We Have All the Time in the World”, from OHMSS.

And I guess I’ll cop to the fact that I’ve watched the music videos for both “The Living Daylights” (A-ha) and “A View to a Kill” (Duran Duran) numerous times on the special edition DVDs. If only those very same special edition discs contained the boozy, out-of-control commentaries recorded by the filmmakers in the 80s for the Criterion Collection laserdiscs!

Anonymous said...

You scored 12 out of a possible 15
Although wounded, out of breath and slightly confused, you still managed to halt the bomb detonator with half a second to go, steal the secret code and cop off. However, a bit too close for comfort, 007?

1) From Russia With Love

2) Goldfinger

3) On Her Majesty's Secret Service

Virgil Hilts

Thom McGregor said...

All right. I took the quiz just to give this comments column a different answer. I don't like James Bond or James Bond movies, though I've seen maybe 4 or 5 films, mostly out of dedication to my hubby. I honestly only knew one answer out of all the questions. (Dennis, guess which one!) So here's my result: "You scored 5 out of a possible 15.
The Queen has been kidnapped, your gun has jammed, your BMW has two flats and you've been demoted to Moneypenny's office assistant. Bad show, old boy." My favorite Bond movie? Hasn't been made yet!

blaaagh said...

Haha! Awesome, Thom! There must be a certain pleasure in being a total non-fan. I remember when I had asked my friend Caroline to go see "You Only Live Twice" and co-hit "Thunderball" at the Esquire theatre in Portland, and she agreed reluctantly (we were maybe in 6th grade), partly because she wasn't too interested in James Bond, but also because her mom had been reluctant to let her see them. Seems her mom, correctly, thought the films portrayed women as sex objects. Oh well, we went and had a good time.

Dennis, I did see most of "You Only Live Twice" on AMC in December, and only turned it off because I was forced to by circumstances--I, too, was pleased to see that it's just as good as I remembered. And that title song--yeah!

Anonymous said...

13 out of 15, god help me...
i wont leave my name (or show my face) because why should a man my age (mid 40's) know so doggone much about a series that gets arguably worse with each consecutive chapter.
i need a date. preferably a woman with a good job.

love your site, BTW

Anonymous said...

James Bond quiz
You scored 15 out of a possible 15
You've sipped the vodkatini, despatched the arch villain, blown up the secret base, saved the world, made a spectacular escape and still found the energy to bed the babe. Cue witty one-liner and closing credits. Good show, 007!

1st time, no cheating. Daniel Craig Sucks, Clive Owen for the next Bond!