Monday, August 29, 2005

A SCRIBBLE FROM THE UNDERGROUND



There is, or there can be, structure in the blogosphere. One of the bits of self-discipline that I try to honor in my own little enterprise here is to try not to let a full seven-day week go by without a post of some kind, and over the past nine months I've been pretty consistent with that. When I haven't, I've usually tried to prepare for the lull in advance and load you all up on verbiage before I take my little break. This past week, however, is the first time I've taken more than seven days between posts, for reasons related entirely to time and my commitments beyond this page, and considering that I don't have an editor or a sponsor nagging me to get more material out there now, now, now, the degree to which I am perturbed or otherwise disturbed by my recent inability to find that 25th and 26th hour in the day which to dedicate to my blog writing is kind of surprising.

And reassuring. It tells me that blogging, expressing myself however formally or informally, about films, baseball, life, and interacting with those of you kind enough to take precious time out of your days to read what I offer here, has actually become an important part of my life, something that I miss when I'm unable to tend to it. Outside interests relatively concurrent to my experience in blogging have cropped up that are time-consuming as well. I have been trying a little harder than usual lately to break through a self-imposed shell of antisocial tendencies that have calcified around me over the past eight years and remember how to step out with friends. My daughters are growing up, becoming independent little beings with their own curious thought processes and unshakable curiosities, yet still so dependent on the love and guidance and interactivity that my wife and I feel so honored to be able to provide, even when we're exhausted beyond reason. I am learning to recognize over and over again what my friend in the blogosphere, Preacher Beege, just today reminded me of-- how lucky my wife and I are to, as Beege put it, realize "how far we've come, how hard-won the comfort has been, and how good it is to fall asleep every night beside our best friend." I am struggling with the difficulty of balancing all these good things with keeping close with loved ones who are not so far away, geographically speaking, even as they might as well be on Jupiter when it comes to figuring out ways to spend time together. I've been learning to balance my natural thirst for cinema-- good, bad and indifferent-- with being more selective and seeking out the best in my choices, simply because I'm not a carefree bachelor no more, no more. I've been learning how not to live or die on the outcome of a Dodger game (nothing like a season like this one to drive that point home). And I've been trying to learn to live by that Bertrand Russell quote you can read at the top of this page, to balance that thought with the driving urge to gobble up as much work as I can in order to keep my family swimming in macaroni & cheese and basking under the glow of electric lights.

These are the things that are going on every day that I blog, and twice again on the days when I don't. No news to anyone who reads this page, I'm sure, given that I don't know too many honest-to-God slackers (malcontents, maybe, but they're hard-working malcontents). Most everyone's lives are as busy or busier than mine, to be sure. I'm not complaining, just 'splaining a little as I sit here at work late on a Monday evening, avoiding what looks to be a relatively compelling assignment for just a few minutes longer while I indulge in one of my relatively newfound loves. There will be better things to read than this in the coming week-- tonight, not Wednesday, is my hump night, and I have plenty of itches to scratch before the weekend arrives. I just wanted to check in, say hi, and, as Elvis Costello might have said, had he Internet access in 1977, welcome to my blogging week. Hey, the Dodgers can't take a home series from the worst team in baseball (Colorado), but they sure put the screws to Roger Clemens, Roy Oswalt and, with tonight's 9-6 win at Wrigley, the Cubs. Will the Padres fold and allow the Dodgers to take the NL West with 80 wins, or less? I made it to another drive-in, and I managed to catch up on new Almodovar, new Herzog, new Craven and old Russ Meyer all in the past seven days. And maybe 2046 soon? I'm busy, but I guess I'm no hermit. Stay tuned. And what did you guys do last week?

5 comments:

Thom McGregor said...

Believe you me, you are one busy son of a gun. It's good to see you get such satisfaction from your interests and also meet new people who share your interests. It's a sign of good mental health. Once you get the physical health up to speed, I don't think you'll be so exhausted anymore with the daily grind. You're certainly a different man today than eight years ago, and I'm very proud of you for that, though sometimes personally lonely for that all-the-time-and-energy-in-the-world-to-take-care-of-my-wifey dude of years ago.

blaaagh said...

I love that Bertrand Russell quote! I'm thinking of adopting it as a temporary mantra, except it's a bit long. Welcome back to Blogville! I won't bore your other readers with what I've been up to, but save it for that long-delayed phone conversation...my turn to call. OH--and you must be more important than ever now, since I have to type in a secret nonsense word before I can post a comment.

Dennis Cozzalio said...

Haha! Yeah, that's me, the V.I.P. Actually, the password thing is an option provided by blogger.com for those who have been peppered recently by automated spam that shows up in the comments column. By requring the typed-in "word," the auto-spam program can't access your comments because it can't "see" the word to reproduce it. After 60 or 70 messages from "Frisky Felicity" leaving messages like, "I love your blog-- visit me at www.xxx.com," it got a tad annoying. Thankfully, they initiated this option, and I've seen both the auto-spam and the code word pop up on other blogs, so it must be the latest genius marketing idea in full flower. Who the hell would "respond" to any of this crap, anyway? Does this kind of assault actually result in an upswing in business large enough to offfset the countless rational human beings who just automatically dismiss and delete this kind of junk? I don't get it... And yeah, I really liked that Russell quote too-- seems more appropriate than ever. I'll send you an e-mail today!

stooge1970 said...

[ Sniffling, Sobbing, Passing Gas ]
Man, so many emotions come out in me( or out of me ) when I read your blog. That's it! I vow to at least blog once a week Even if I have nothing to say, whoch is rare if you know me, I'll simply type the word "blog" in to let you know I'm alive. I'm doin' it!

Benaiah said...

Hey Dennis, I have been absentee for a bit too, but it is nice to know I have missed too much. Senior year is far more busy than I imagined, I am on a strict drinking regime and I am taking a class where the final project is a full screenplay, plus I am writing a newspaper column. Busy times, I hope you are doing well in these crazy times.