Monday, June 29, 2009


Today the Los Angeles Times published a straight-faced piece on the box-office bonanza afforded Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen based around the premise that “rarely have critics been more disconnected from what audiences want and love” than over this movie. In the article, written by Times staff writer John Horn, Bay crows, "I think they reviewed the wrong movie. They just don't understand the movie and its audience. It's silly fun." Bay went on to surmise, of the nation’s critics who were almost uniformly dismissive of his baby, "I am convinced that they are born with the anti-fun gene. The reviews are just so vicious. A lot of them are more personal than anything else." Of course it’s not only dumb and illogical to assume, as Bay does, that just because the mass audience is bamboozled into buying your product to the tune of $204 million over the weekend that each and every ticket buyer was satisfied and got exactly what he or she wanted. Even the Times had to concede, on in a blog post later in the day, the shocking news that the director they termed an “audience darling” in the previous piece’s headline, may not be getting the best reviews from even the peanut gallery. Stories about Bay bemoaning the critical reaction to his junk-pile contraptions in the glow of all the filthy lucre pouring in over opening weekend are becoming as predictable as the negative critical reactions themselves. Almost like never before, actually seeing a Michael Bay movie has become a superfluous part of the Michael Bay media experience, and thank God for that.

Now, just when Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen has, if you believe this poor, mistreated director, captured the imagination of a public eager to be transported away and forget their troubles for two hours (that’s Bay paraphrased from the latest Los Angeles Times ad running before nearly every feature on every screen in the city), what better day then to re-release upon the huddled masses the razor-sharp observations of perhaps Michael Bay’s biggest, and certainly most articulate fan, Mike Gilbert?

The Mysterious Adrian Betamax, via his nifty film blog Cahiers2Cinema, has made his terrifically funny documentary Mike Gilbert On Cinema available once again—just in time, not only for the new Michael Bay, but the new Michael Mann as well!—and this time the MAB has included a brief set of hilarious outtakes that actually are hilarious and provide unique (and scary!) insight into the bubbling cauldron that is Gilbert’s runaway, free-associative mind. So if you can’t get those precious tickets to see TROTF, then just take a breath, press play and let Mike Gilbert spin the magic of a breathless fan experiencing those movies in his head—it’s even better, and maybe even funnier, than allowing a giant mechanical Transformer to pound on your head for 150 minutes.

Behold the one, the only, the dazzling original Mike Gilbert on Cinema!

And now come fly away as Mike flubs his bits and ranks on Jerry Maguire for having been shot in a lame aspect ratio.

Michael Bay, you may be an “audience darling,” but until you can spin a picture as mesmerizing as the ones Mike Gilbert can conjure… well, let’s just say you’re no Mike Gilbert.


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