Friday, June 21, 2019


(Editor's note: Wow. It's been over a month since I posted to this page? I'm either getting old or distracted, or both... But that's a question for another time...)

Well, as Dean of SLIFR University (that'd be Lord Hy Muckitymuck to you), I'm happy to announce that I'm off with my family on  a much-needed summer vacation, the vagaries and responsibilities of overseeing an institution like SLIFR-U being quite trying at times-- one of the younger film history professors on staff actually told her classes that "I suppose D.W. Griffith deserves a mention," before proceeding to dismiss further discussion of his work and suggesting that her students should rely on her testimony that The Birth of a Nation was reprehensible and feel no obligation to investigate it for themselves. I personally... corrected  her, and when she didn't show up in class the following session she was summarily dismissed from the staff. (Strangely, no one has seen her since. But I insist that I know nothing about what I suppose must be described as her sudden disappearance.)

One of our more reliable tenured instructors provides a more solid foundation for his journey of discovery with his students into the world of art history, and that would be the host of this most recent SLIFR U Movie Quiz, Dr. Jonathan Hemlock. When we approached Dr. Hemlock for his ideas for a new quiz, he was enthusiastic, especially since it had been such a long time since one had been published-- "It's a hell of a honor to be asked to kick-start such a grand tradition," the super-sexy and down-to-earth historian proclaimed, before excusing himself to discuss a poor assignment performance with one of his preposterously luscious female students, who was apparently much more fascinated by the possibilities of her art history class than her grades would indicate. Dr. Hemlock is indeed popular with his students, and a very busy man who somehow always finds time to moonlight as a mountain climbing instructor and guide, a side interest which is apparently a lucrative one, which would account for his possession of an extensive personal collection whose value would seem to far exceed the reach of a professor's pay grade, even one as esteemed as himself.

So hopefully you'll understand why we consider having him contribute to the SLIFR Movie Quiz canon to be such a coup. Dr. Hemlock invites you along to participate and expects you to get a good grade. If you don't, he's made it incumbent upon us to insist that those who score unsatisfactorily be made to accompany him on his next climb for a bit of instruction in the sport "which he sincerely hopes you will survive." (We have not yet determined exactly what Dr. Hemlock means by this vaguely threatening statement, but we feel sure you have nothing to fear. Perhaps he knows something about the disappearance of our film history professor. Hmm...)

At any rate, time to get to the new quiz, which hopefully you have been hankering for. The usual reminders are in order. You can post your answers in the comments column below, and when you do please copy and paste the questions as well as your answers so readers will know to what your answers refers without having to scroll back up to this post to be reminded. You can also link to your own blog page or Facebook page if you prefer to post your questions/answers there.

And please, don't feel you have to post short answers. For this quiz, as all SLIFR quizzes, the longer, more discursive answers are almost always more interesting to read. But short answers can be great too-- if you've got a witty, quippy reply, feel free to cut loose and run.

With all that in mind, submit now to Dr. Jonathan Hemlock's particular talent at compiling quizzes and have at his Artsy-Fartsy, Historical-Schmistorical Sanctionistic Summer Vacation Movie Quiz. Your grade, or your life, may depend on it.

* Questions submitted by Dr. Hemlock's teaching assistant, Emma Cozzalio


1) Name a musician who never starred in a movie who you feel could have been a movie star or at least had a compelling cinematic presence

2) Akira or Ghost in the Shell *

3) Charles Lee Ray or Freddy Krueger? *

4) Most excruciating moment/scene you've ever sat through in a film 

5) Henry Cavill or Armie Hammer?

6) Name a movie you introduced to a young person, one which was out of their expressed line of interest or experience, which they came to either appreciate or flat-out love

7) Second favorite Robert Rossellini film

8) What movie shaped your perceptions of New York City, Los Angeles and/or Chicago before you ever went there and experienced the cities for yourself.

9) Name another movie that shaped, for better or worse, another city or location that you eventually visited or came to know well.

10) Bela Lugosi or Christopher Lee? *

11) Elizabeth Debicki or Alicia Vikander?

12) The last movie you saw theatrically? The last on physical media? Via streaming?

13) Who are the actors, classic and contemporary you are always glad to see?

14) Second favorite Federico Fellini film

15) Tessa Thompson or Danai Gurira *

16) The Black Bird or The Two Jakes?

17) Your favorite movie title

18) Second favorite Luchino Visconti film

19) Given the recent trend, what's the movie that seems like an all-too-obvious candidate for a splashy adaptation to Broadway?

20) Name a director you feel is consistently misunderstood

21) Chris Evans or Chris Hemsworth? *

22) What's the film that most unexpectedly grew in your estimation from trivial, or unworthy, or simply enjoyable, to a true favorite with some actual meat on its bones?

23) I Am Curious (Yellow), yes or no?

24) Second favorite Lucio Fulci film

25) Are the movies as we now know them coming to an end? (