Friday, November 10, 2006


The Drive-In Trailer Park theme of the day is Sexploitation, and the three ads featured in this post give a nice overview of some of the stuff an innocent underage filmgoer could be exposed to if his parents (or grandparents) subscribed to the right newspapers at the right time. One of the things that I love about ads like the one for the Magdalena/Crazy for Love/Tread Softly Stranger double feature (the ad is dated from 1960) is the mantle of seriousness bestowed upon the movies by the exhibitor, as if to ward off any accusations of pandering (while, of course, at the same time, emphasizing the “adult” nature of the program):

“Notice form the management: We wish to advise our patrons that Magdalena is a drama best understood by adults. Therefore, please comply with our policy of ADULTS ONLY.”

I love the euphemism “best understood.” And I also like the plea to keep the kids at home. It doesn’t say anything like “no one under the age of…” will be admitted. So if you were a potato-headed parent circa 1960 and felt that Magdalena was something it was okay for your six-year-old to be in the presence of, the box office attendant might wag his finger at your decision, but he’ll still take your money. My, how things have changed!

The Babysitter double bill is vintage 1975, a superb Crown International night at the movies that is very typical of the stuff I saw advertised, and also some of the stuff that was actually still playing when I was old enough to see them for myself (I saw Van Nuys Blvd. and a double feature of The Van and The Pom Pom Girls in Eugene, Oregon drive-ins, all courtesy of the good folks at Crown International. But none of the drive-ins where I saw any of these T-and-A classics was ever so aptly named as the one showing The Babysitter and Weekend with the Babysitter. Where else could one indulge one’s appetite for smut and edifying content so completely than at a drive-in called the Wak-Art?

Finally, you absolutely must love the guy who put together the bill for the Turnpike Drive-in in Albany, New York. Here’s a guaranteed cigar-chomper who undoubtedly figured that any movie with the word “virgin” in the title or the advertising must be pretty racy. Going in reverse order, “revealing hit #3” is Virgin Island, a comedy-drama starring John Cassavetes, Sidney Poitier and Ruby Dee, with the provocative tag line (provided by the exhibitor, undoubtedly), “Alone… on an island of love!” Unfortunately, the movie itself seems to be something different—it is described by one IMDb user as a movie “for those who love fairy tale, Field of Dreams-type movies-- a "Must-See." Well, that doesn’t sound too racy…

Adult Shocker #2 , The Last Paradise, or as it is known in it’s country of origin, L’ Ultimo Paradiso, turns out to be some kind of Italian documentary which probably promised the occasional glance at a denuded native girl, but was also probably a whole lot less provocative that its tagline (“The Virgin Paradise of Ten Thousand Thrills!”) would have you surmise.

But, as any good showman would, I’ve saved the best for last. The come-on reads like a promise of the nastiest bit of pulp you’ll ever encounter: “Certain essential scenes in this film should be seen only by adults. They are not suitable for younger, more impressionable minds. We strongly recommend this film for adults only.” Unbelievable that they missed the opportunity to let on that the film in question comes from that hedonistic hot spot known as Sweden. So what is steamy Adult Shocker #1? It’s called The Virgin Spring (Yeah? Mmm!) and it stars Swedish hottie Birgitta Pettersson (Yeah? Uh-huh?)… and it was directed by that well-known Swedish pornographer Ingmar Bergman (Sound of air escaping overly engorged balloon…)

Who needs the drive-in’s in-car heaters with this much raw sex being projected onto the big screen? I wonder how many requests the management got for refunds based on lack of erotic stimulation after sitting through this triple feature! I’d have been pissed too—but not so much that I wouldn’t have inquired about the drive-in’s “popular bear club.”

In keeping (sort of) with today’s theme, here’s two offerings that have unique takes on the subject of marriage. First, from the land of Russ Meyer, comes his 1967 classic Common-Law Cabin (Don’t forget— in lieu of cold statistics, we offer you Sheila!):

And finally, here’s the British “restricted” trailer for a beautiful story of the unassailable bonds of marriage, bonds that can survive infidelity, incompatibility, and even one spouse’s transformation into a carnivorous slug from another world. Oh, how I wish I’d seen this one before doing up my Underrated, Ignored or Forgotten Horror Movies list last month…

Hearing Air Supply sing "You're Every Woman In The World To Me" will never sound the same... and a big "amen" to that! Have a great weekend!


Anonymous said...

Haha! That COMMON-LAW CABIN preview had me slack-jawed. "How much loving does a normal married couple need?" Eh? Loving? There was a lot more screaming, punching, wrestling in the sand, and piggy-back rides than I expect most "normal" couples would like, but I suppose Russ Meyer knew better. Anyway, thanks for the laughs...and SLITHER looks like more fun than I had thought.

Dennis Cozzalio said...

Oh, man, I love the announcer for the Common Law Cabin trailer! And yeah, there wasn't a whole lot in the way of romance in that trailer, was there? But that was one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time. I haven't seen the movie myself, but if it's half as good as that preview, well...

And get thee hastily to Slither, before somebody at the bookstore comes up to you and starts rattling off all the great bits. Remember how good Tremors turned out to be? This is a nifty little surprise package in much the same way, only funnier, gorier and all-out wilder. And if you see this movie and somehow manage to NOT get a crush on Elizabeth Banks, let's just say I'll be more than a bit surprised!