A long time ago, in a land far, far away (at least it is now), I saw Shelley Duvall in person. It was February 1982, and she was one of many stars and celebrities gathered at the Plitt Century Plaza Cinemas in Los Angeles to see the opening night screening of Francis Ford Coppola’s One from the Heart—the theater sold tickets to the general public and somehow I snagged one. So there I was, bumping shoulders with Steven Spielberg, Nastassia Kinski, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Teri Garr, Fredric Forrest and, of course, Coppola, to see this movie, and as agog as I was to find myself in this sea of movie star heaven, they all paled in comparison when I set my eyes on Shelley Duvall.
From 1970 on, Duvall had been in some of
the most influential movies I ever saw in my life during that period, most of
them directed by my favorite filmmaker, Robert Altman— Brewster McCloud,
McCabe and Mrs. Miller, Thieves Like Us, Nashville and 3 Women. She
was, as my friend Steven Santos has suggested, central to understanding and
finding your way to Altman’s wavelength, and the movies he made with her are
unimaginable, especially now, without her. In 1982, when I found myself
wandering through that theater lobby and eventually spotting Duvall
unassumingly standing near the snack bar, engaged in a conversation, she was
coming off of the two movies that most people probably associate her
with—Altman’s Popeye (1980) and Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining, also
1980)—a moment in her career that would never again be duplicated. (And to
those who love to propagate the theory that Kubrick’s punishing methods drove
her to eventually crack up, well, there was certainly no evidence of it that I
could see—it’s called acting, folks.)
I stood there for what seemed like a long time, hemming and hawing, hands in
pants pockets, trying to get up the courage to go up to her and say something
no more prepossessing than “Ms. Duvall, I’m a huge fan. Thank you for your wonderful
work.” But I hadn’t yet lived in Los Angeles—I was still only a very green
visitor and I had no idea whether I’d be overstepping myself or how she would
react to being approached. I have since heard, from people I know who *have*
talked to her, that I had nothing to worry about that night 42 years ago. But I
didn’t know that then. And so, after a bit more rocking back and forth on my
heels and toes, I slunk back to my seat and left her to the movie and to her life.
That’s a decision I’ve regretted ever since, especially today. Because Shelley
Duvall, maybe my favorite actress for a good 20 years or so, has died of complications from diabetes. Of course, her ill health and her stepping away
from Hollywood were widely known, thanks in part to some callous exploitation
of her situation by people who ought to know better but who, in pursuit of
dollars and notoriety and clicks, have long lost the crucial compassion of
bedrock humanity. But it’s heartening to know that she found love even during
this difficult time in her life, and that far more people seemed to surround
her and support her in the wake of all that exploitation than wanted to take
advantage of her. Up till the end, she had meaningful relationships and fans
who would become friends who visited her from all parts, and she seemed genuinely
happy, even though her circumstances were far from those that would ever been
blessed and anointed by the Hollywood spotlight.
It's hard to underestimate, or even express what she’s given to me since I
first saw her-- in Nashville a few years before I ever saw her film
debut in Brewster McCloud-- but I remember being immediately taken by
her unusual comportment and lack of self-consciousness as a performer, her
openness, her vulnerability, and the hint that there was something behind those
giant eyes that haunted the untrained approach she brought to almost every
role. (Pauline Kael once described her as possessing the appearance of having
stepped straight out of a Modigliani painting.) I love her in Brewster
McCloud, the hero’s one true tie to the world who inadvertently sets the
stage for his downfall; and as Keechie, unsophisticated partner and lover to
the gangster Bowie (Keith Carradine, with whom she was paired three times in
Altman’s films) in Thieves Like Us; and of course Millie Lamoreaux, the
spa worker whose misplaced confidence and desperate longing to insinuate
herself into a world she can’t see doesn’t really want her brings about a
strange fusion and personality transference with a young woman (Pinky, played
by Sissy Spacek) who she ostensibly takes under her wing in Altman’s 3 Women
(1977). (Duvall won the Best Actress award at Cannes in 1977 for her work in
this movie.)
Shelley, I wish I’d been braver that night back in 1982. You were maybe the least intimidating person in the room, smiling that smile that could have only come from you, and I really regret that I passed on the chance to connect with you and let you know how much you meant to me. Your singular personality and style probably mean even more to me now, and I’m sorry that the world was a tougher place for you in your later years than you ever expected it would be, that you ever deserved. In a world where telling cookie-cutter actors apart from each other has become increasingly difficult (and tiresome), no one would ever mistake you for anyone else. I’m sure you knew that, but I would have loved to tell you face to face and let you know about the place in my heart you’ll always have. And it’s there where I’ll visit you tonight, listening to your wonderful voice singing those songs, watching you bouncing through a world that never existed, and I will do my best to say hi this time.
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