DISCLAIMER: Use of the following information in your office Oscar pool is at the express risk of the person silly enough to crib it for such purposes. It is intended For Amusement Only, particularly if you care to have a cheap giggle at the expense of the person making it public.
******************************************
So here we sit, mere hours away from the breathless revelation of this year’s slate of Oscar winners which we’ll have trouble recalling by the end of the week. And in the spirit of full disclosure of my own ineptitude at guessing the outcome of contests such as these, I thought I’d reveal my own fearless predictions at to what’s going to happen tonight. It’s simply not enough, if I may crib a line from a dear friend, to sit back and luxuriate in the exquisite embarrassment of listening to professional gushers like ABC 7’s George Pennacchio ask stars like Octavia Spencer what it was like to play a black woman as the nominee nervously runs the red carpet gauntlet. No, each year I have to lay down my three bucks (six if I’m feeling lucky enough to play two ballots) and put my money where my heart is—which is why, by the way, I usually lose these things.
So come on, take this opportunity to make fun of me. The following are my completely unscientific, unbesmirched-by-insider-info, seat-of-my-sweatpants 2011 Oscar Predictions. Just please forgive me if my list of guesses sounds a tad familiar. I’m a very conservative gambler by nature, and my bold limb-walking has gotten me precisely nowhere in Oscar contests past. If you want to see just how well I did on my Independent Spirit Awards predictions, where I boldly envisioned the Spirit voters expressing true independence and voting the Drive ticket, you can click over to INDIEWire’s ”Who Will Win-Who Should Win” poll, where writers like myself were asked to take guesses and cite preferences on the two big awards shows of the weekend. If I do as well tonight as I did yesterday well, hey, I might just be $6 poorer! But I’ll have enjoyed the show in the company of friends and maybe even have had a beer or two. What Oscar win could possibly top that? (Well, maybe one for Melissa McCarthy.)
BEST PICTURE: The Artist
BEST ACTRESS: Viola Davis, The Help
BEST ACTOR: George Clooney, The Descendants
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Octavia Spencer, The Help
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Christopher Plummer, Beginners
BEST DIRECTOR: Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: The Descendants
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Midnight in Paris
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE: Rango
BEST ANIMATED SHORT: The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore
BEST ART DIRECTION/SET DESIGN: Hugo
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: The Tree of Life
BEST COSTUME DESIGN: Hugo
BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE: Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory
BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT: The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom
BEST FILM EDITING: The Artist
BEST FOREIGN-LANGUAGE FILM: A Separation
BEST LIVE-ACTION SHORT: Raju
BEST MAKEUP: The Iron Lady
BEST ORIGINAL MUSICAL SCORE: The Artist
BEST SONG: “Man or Muppet”
BEST SOUND EDITING: Hugo
BEST SOUND MIXING: Hugo
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
Final Tally:
THE ARTIST wins four
HUGO wins four
THE HELP wins two
THE DESCENDANTS wins two
BEGINNERS, MIDNIGHT IN PARIS, RANGO, THE TREE OF LIFE, THE IRON LADY, HARRY POTTER 7.5, A SEPARATION and THE MUPPETS each win one.
Happy Breathless George Pennacchio Day, everybody!
********************************************
No comments:
Post a Comment