HAPPY NINTH BIRTHDAY, BABY GIRL!

My most lovely and silly and inspired and creative and intelligent oldest daughter turns nine today, and I just wanted to wish her the happiest of birthdays and give anyone who wants to join with me the forum in which to do so. Each new birthday of hers is a mixed blessing for me—I love seeing her grow up and experience the world anew each day, but I also want her to stay innocent, to remain the little child who I could once hold in the palm of my right hand, her butt perfectly cradled in the crook of my elbow. And I look to the future with the same mixture of anticipation and dread, having no idea what the world will look like when she’s finally ready to head out into it on her own. But before that time arrives, I have told myself and anyone who will listen that I will be the crankiest of bastards when it comes to being the father of a beautiful teenaged girl for the first time. All you young toughs that come poking around my front porch had better not underestimate my willingness to run you through the psychological wringer, and God help the first one of you who somehow does her wrong—there’s a baseball bat at the ready to apply a Louisville Slugger tattoo to your backside. (Peet Gelderblom and I once vowed an arranged marriage between my daughter and his fine, upstanding, darned-good-looking young son, and I really think it would be much easier on all involved if we were to start the paperwork in earnest on that arrangement.)

I have always resisted publishing photos of my girls because I’m not yet entirely comfortable with the openness of the Internet when it comes to my family, which is why I also have never referred to my daughters by name on this site. Call me slightly paranoid, but in this day and age I think a little wariness and watchfulness has certainly shown itself to be justified and wise policy. But I wanted to share her with you on this day when she suddenly seems to be just a inch or two closer to becoming a young lady and not simply a little girl. The picture above was taken six years ago when she was three. She has changed markedly enough that I feel comfortable publishing it for everyone I know (and those I don’t) to see, yet the picture captures all the goofy charm of her personality that remains in her, amplified by six extra years of exposure to her parents’ senses of humor, to this day.

So raise a glass, have a cookie, see a movie, whatever you do to have an enjoyable night, and while you're doing so please think of her and wish her a happy birthday. She and I and her little sister are headed to Hollywood as soon as I post this for pizza and VIP seats to see Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience at the El Capitan, so we’re guaranteed a good time ushering in a wild weekend of celebration. (Right?) And if you’re near your computer at 5:00 p.m. this afternoon (a mere 25 minutes away at this writing), tune in to Dicey Reilly’s Shake and Pop for a special song block dedicated to my daughter-- I can’t wait to hear what tunes he’ll have in store.

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UPDATE 5:22 p.m.: Dicey's selections? Sponge's punk cover of "Go, Speed Racer, Go!" followed by the Randells' "Martian Hop" and "Rock and Roll High School" by the Ramones. Thanks, Dicey! That was awesome! And Emma says she understands about not spinning some Zac and Vanessa-- we don't want you to get fired, you know.

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